My sister has BPD traits

[monroe]

My sister is constantly projecting and making accusations about me raging, etc. However, she is obviously the one who rages. She tries to bring in allies, and seeks out my friends and colleagues, warms up to them & tries to bring them into the drama, which is very embarrassing and abusive.

She is very intelligent and manipulative and sometimes I feel like she is trying to annihilate me from my social life and colleagues. I also feel that she is deeply insecure, and so she tries to build up her identity based on who I am. She is in a completely different career of work, but she insists on establishing herself in my professional field with volunteer work and articles she writes. She tells me she hates my guts, but then she uses my name to social and career climb. It is very sick and abusive.

If she is not raging at and accusing me, she is going after her husband, daughter or mother. However, everyone seems to see her as a normal intelligent person.  

[Learning_curve74]

Hi Monroe, I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you're having with your sister, but I'm glad you found us and want to welcome you to the community!  

You're not alone in the way you feel, a lot of people myself included know what it's like to be on the receiving end of abusive behavior that other people in general don't see. "It's hard on us when other people do not experience the same the same behaviors we do, so they don't understand how we feel."

If you don't mind me asking, has your sister been diagnosed with BPD? If so, it's she in therapy? If not, how did you learn about her possibly having BPD?

Have you two always been very close? And if you don't mind answering, how old are you two?

If you are not that familiar with BPD, this link has a lot of good information about it: The symptoms and diagnosis of BPD. This might help you start to understand her crazy making behaviors.

When a family member has BPD, it really can affect all the other members of the family. To help deal with the issues surrounding it, you should check out this discussion board: Healing board: for those with parents, relatives, or in-laws with BPD. You'll find other members who are dealing with the same issues for support and senior members that can help offer advice so you can have healthier interactions with your sister. Read as much as you can, and then when you feel comfortable feel free to post as much or as little as you want.

There are a lot of people here that are trying to cope in the best way with the person with BPD in their life. I hope you can find some of the help and support you are looking for here. Also, here is a hug for you simply because you deserve one.