anxious again

[whirlwinded]

Having a bad morning and am extremely anxious and nervous right now.  I don't know how I am going to get through today, drive to work and function.  I just want to cry my eyes out.  I feel like I cannot even live in my own skin I'm so nervous.  Posts given to me were very comforting but it takes me a while to get to the calmness.  I left him and I am in different surroundings, drive in a different direction and everything is different.  It's just everything is overwhelming to me.  I'm so sad and confused its taking my breath away.

[Maro12]

Whirlwinded,

I understand exactly how you feel. I am after another fight with my BPDgf, and I am so full og guilt, nerves, sadness. I tried as much as I could last week to get things right, and it was very nice, she was happy. But Yesterday after her trying to blame me of all I was not patience enough and my responses asking if she is sure there is no her fault triggered her anger attack again. From "I love you very very much" at 5pm, I went to "I hate You, disappear from my life" at 11 pm. I called today to tell her I dont want to do anything against her, but it created another rage. I had to cut, cause I am at work... .Nerves, guilt, sadnesss... .

Hold there, calm down, you have to work ant think about you. 

Regards,

Maro12

[Clearmind]

Cry Whirlwind – nothing wrong with crying. Its our way of self soothing. You must be overwhelmed with all of the changes right now – its understandable. Be kind to you.

Do you have a support network where you live?

[living in the past]

 Hi,  i just read your posts, i haven"t posted lately myself, but i read what other people are going through, i read you left your relationship, i think that was a good decision ,and the only chance you had to get better, hope you are doing better as i am responding to a post from a few weeks ago, My two year friendship with pwBPD, pretty well replaced me with new friend,from what i can understand, very painfull,so i am interested how you are doing after a few weeks being out of relationship, for me its still new, yesterday i mailed back to her some personal things left behind ,after i took her to the hospital on nov 11, and it seems after that she lost interest in our friendship, i know this is for the better, so i can get detached and have a chance, because i was getting worse as time wet on, best wishes