Are they all like this?

[Pretty Woman]

Do all persons with BPD blame you fully for the end of the relationship?  This last time mine told me we could be friends and that my friendship (err being a sucker) was irreplaceable.  When I tried to argue it with her and ask why we were splitting she raged, told me I treated her worse than dirt and she cared never to speak to me again.  She then blocked FB, my number and is in a relationship... .er f buddy with a mutual friend. 

Who does that? She used to comment if we were not together she felt this woman would be interested.   

Red flags. 

[maxen]

Do all persons with BPD blame you fully for the end of the relationship?

mine did.

[strikeforce]

Do all persons with BPD blame you fully for the end of the relationship?  This last time mine told me we could be friends and that my friendship (err being a sucker) was irreplaceable.  When I tried to argue it with her and ask why we were splitting she raged, told me I treated her worse than dirt and she cared never to speak to me again.  She then blocked FB, my number and is in a relationship... .er f buddy with a mutual friend. 

Who does that? She used to comment if we were not together she felt this woman would be interested.   

Red flags. 

Who does that?

A severely mentally ill, disordered individual.

My path of moving on was accepting she was ill in the head and not to take it personally, easy to say I know, but if we continue wondering why and asking questions they will never be able to answer we ourselves will end up mentally ill.

[houseofswans]

I don't know - I'm still waiting for my ex to say our relationship is over.

And that after 6 months and her having two relationships since then

It's a closure thing... .

[fromheeltoheal]

We all project, it's one way of offing our issues on something other than ourselves.  A borderline just feels everything more intensely, so the projection shows up as extreme rage and you a complete scumbag.  I for one have wanted to end a relationship in the past and have used justifications like she's this or she's that, and accentuated the things I didn't like about her, which is splitting, to make it easier.  A borderline's way is the same thing on steroids.  Plus, another way to not face issues is repress them, and that coupled with the fact borderlines hate to be alone explains why they end up in new relationships so fast.  We know that's the way to just take old sht and recycle it again with someone new, never growing, and the path we're taking is the harder one, process the lessons, heal, grow, go into the next one healthier, where a borderline just repeats the same crap decade after decade, in my case.  Time to get off that train... .

[Octoberfest]

One instance in particular stands out to me... .

I showed up at a small gathering/party at my BPDex's best friends (at the time) place.  They had already been there for a while when I arrived.  My BPDex was standing outside as I walked up smoking a cigarette with a guy she knew from a few years back or so, one I am pretty sure she had slept with (they seemed to be everywhere).  We all went inside and over the next hour I was shocked by what I saw.  My BPDex, this person I loved, who I thought I knew better than anyone else was... .acting like a totally different person.  I had to double take several times or play again what she was saying in my head to make sure I had heard it right... .it was so contrary to the girl that I knew and loved.  I made it clear I wanted to leave and in short order we wound up back at her room in the dorms, at which point I told her things were done and over because she was smoking again.  We had discussed several times previously her smoking, and she had told me she had quit, that she didn't want to, that she was no longer doing it.  I said great, but I am telling you now if you are lying and I find out you are smoking again, I'm done.  That night in her dorm room, when I followed through on my "threat", she lost her mind.  Yelling at me, screaming at me, finally storming out and walking down to the lobby of her dorm.  I collected myself for a few minutes in her room before grabbing my backpack and walking out to go to my car and leave. I ALMOST went out a side door, instead of the main entrance, because I had a felling she might be there, but I didn't.  As I walked past a common area right by the front doors I saw her sitting on a couch on her phone.  She looked up as I walked by, and I kept walking.  As I approached the doors I saw in the reflection of the glass her getting up and power walking after me.  I got outside and she ran and got in front of me, blocking my path.  She pulled me over off to the side of the entrance by a few trees and proceeded to start screaming at me.  "I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO HURT ME! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE EVER GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH YOU, YOU ARE THE WORST ONE THAT I'VE EVER DATED!".  She then tried to hit me, the first time she had ever tried to do so.  Luckily I have quick reflexes, and my arm came up on its own accord and blocked the blow.  She was stunned for a second that she hadn't made contact, then turned around and walked down the sidewalk back to her best friends house, balling her eyes out.  I very calmly went to my car, drove back to the Fraternity house (where I was living at the time) and went about cleaning the kitchen as I was on dish duty that night.  I had several missed calls and texts as I went about it, and after a while my BPDex and the best friend come in the front door and into the kitchen where they saw me.  I don't really remember the rest of that story, but it ended with my BPDex and I talking things out in my room and then having sex and making up.  But think about what she said, the part in all capitals... ."you are the worst one I've ever dated".  When she has told me she has a history of boyfriends who have sexually, physically, and emotionally abused her.

One of the instances where I see clearly that I was dealing with a child.

[Mutt]

Do all persons with BPD blame you fully for the end of the relationship?

I didn't know about BPD during our r/s and only after. The last few months was painful watching and listening to uBPDw.

She was having an affair and denied it saying that before moving out, she had said that she was leaving me, so that made it OK. The affair was happening for months before she told me she left me.

She got pregnant from the other man. She came home and said that the obstetrician even said she looked pregnant but that it was due to a cervical issue?

I was told that (projected) that I didn't love her. I tried to convince her to go to marriage counseling and to save the marriage to no avail. The replacement was lined up.

She was not talking to me and giving me the silent treatment (projected) and said that she had called a woman's shelter, because she had her suspicions that I was abusive and she wanted to make sure and it checked out! She was raging a lot. I would walk into a room and she would scream obscenities "Mutt your a f****** ___****!" in front of the kids and pick a fight that I had not clue what it was about. The way that I looked or talked triggered her.

I was physically abusive, emotionally and financially abusive. I'm none of those things and all of it was projected on me and that she couldn't stand living in "the hell-hole" anymore.

It's going to take me a long time to completely forget those last few months. Not a place were I want to be ever again and definitely not my fault, although the ex has a different veiw/perspective of the whole thing.

An 8 year r/s and I was never right about anything. It's a miracle I know how to tie my own shoes.

[babyducks]

Are they all like this?

Its a mental illness which includes disordered thinking.

They process, see, think and hear things differently than you and I.

It has a recognizable pattern. 

It makes sense to them.