The places where my soul is stuck..

[Hellothere]

It sounds deep but I can't honestly think of any other way to describe it, now that the ruminations have started to reside finally after a year I find my brain seems to keep referring back to these same places.

There are a few different spots my mind normally goes back to over and over and over again.

It's almost as I have left a part of me there and my soul  is fighting to get it back.

Has anyone else felt like this since they split from their BPD?

[Ironmanrises]

Yes. Every single day.

[snappafcw]

Me too even ten months later. I still have nightmares from time to time.

[RecycledNoMore]

I still remember the moment I knew I was " in love" with him, just for a fleeting moment, however   

that moment is instantly encompassed with a sickly nauseating feeling inside me,then all I can feel is numb.

[TakingWingAtLast]

For myself, that is the same place I was when I entered into the relationship with the expwBPD in the first place.  I was too soon out of a 23 y/o marriage when I met the ex.   I wasn't really ready to date.  That hole just had to be filled!   Instead of rebuilding my life and becoming my own person, I got in with expwBPD.  Great times at first!  But then... .well, you know how that goes.

Have to take responsibility for that one myself!  Can you say, kicking yourself in the butt?

RecycleNOmore, I totally get that feeling already when I think about ever loving the expwBPD.   Nauseated.  And I'm happy that I'm coupling the feeling of loving the ex with a nauseated feeling.  Helps to detach!

D

[Nicco]

Always.

She got a part of me that won't come back.

[RecycledNoMore]

For myself, that is the same place I was when I entered into the relationship with the expwBPD in the first place.  I was too soon out of a 23 y/o marriage when I met the ex.   I wasn't really ready to date.  That hole just had to be filled!   Instead of rebuilding my life and becoming my own person, I got in with expwBPD.  Great times at first!  But then... .well, you know how that goes.

Have to take responsibility for that one myself!  Can you say, kicking yourself in the butt?

RecycleNOmore, I totally get that feeling already when I think about ever loving the expwBPD.   Nauseated.  And I'm happy that I'm coupling the feeling of loving the ex with a nauseated feeling.  Helps to detach!

D

Hay, I never thought of it from that angle

UBPDx= nausea= helping me detatch

Usually its

UBPDx= nausea= feelings of shame

Thanks dp.

[damage control]

Oh yes ... little moments that are forever etched I think.

For me, they are the moments that completely contradict the outcome/dumping ... the times where I was completely sure of how he felt ... my mind seems to cling to these as 'evidence' that I was not crazy, he did make me feel that way, he did convince me he felt the same and, even if it was taken away, there were moments when we soared ... .

[Hellothere]

So glad other people have this also, hopefully there just lessons waiting to be unveiled, keep ya chin up people.