Recycling

[Meli04]

Just got 6 texts in a row from the ex after 3 weeks of no contact. The same old same old.

Blames me for him leaving; if I would have just been a better, more understanding, loving woman, he would have never had to leave me.

Blames me for his financial situation (which is probably the only reason he decided to reach out anyway), as he has not worked in 6 months nor steadily for most of his adult life. He is 39.

Claims that I will not get back with him because I let my family dictate my life.

One text he is professing his eternal, unconditional love, he would do ANYTHING to fix it, he dreams about me at night, still wants to marry me... .blah blah blah... 3 texts later he is telling me that I am the most selfish B***h he has ever met and how he will get through this and find a REAL WOMAN.

I could care less today, and I am grateful for the numbness. Usually, this would send me into a tizzy... .but today... .I can't muster up enough emotion to even care. Maybe a break through? I hope so. I am literally not bothered by any of it. I think I finally just accepted who and WHAT he is.

The fact that I spent 3 years under his thumb makes me want to take a look at myself and figure what the hell am I dong wrong?

All of the HORRIFIC rages, the constant arguing over the SAME OLD ridiculous petty stuff, the PROJECTION... (Oh the projection!) the lying, the emotional craziness, the roller coaster ride from hell it was.

I don't know what else to say... only that I won't be texting him back and for once I see how behavior can fluctuate in the matter of 6 texts and I am thinking to myself that this is crazy town and how I could care less about his abusive words or anything else to say.

[Pretty Woman]

Meli, has he left you before?

[Jbt857]

Hi Meli 

Can you block his number?

It's great that you feel numb to them, but it's eve better not to witness the crazy behaviour.

Good for you for not texting back! How does it feel? What is different this time? Stay strong and try and do something positive for you with the breakthrough!

On the first 2 points - you could have been describing my BPDexh 

[santa]

Just be glad you don't have children with him and block his number.

[Oliolioxenfree]

I went through this too during my numerous recycles with my ex.   Let me tell you it is way better to cut this person off now before you accept a recycle attempt and wind up possibly being replaced and discarded later.  Which you will find they nine times out of ten will do.  It's ten times worse because youll be wondering why you didn't walk away first. Keep your self respect and boundaries and stick to your guns here.  The payoff is worth it.  Not easy by any means but better than the alternatives.

Ignore ignore ignore.  It's going to be tough but take it from me,  I wanted to kick myself for not walking away from my BPDex and sticking to my guns the first time(s). Because I was blindsided when he did it to me, and it's taken nearly nine months of pain to finally feel good again.