Communication through music

[LilMissSunshine]

Before my exuBPDbf "abandoned" me and went N/C we were doing a lot of comunication through music.  Actually that was his preferred method of comunication.  I sent him the following two music video's (in my failed attempt to "open his eyes" in terms of his illness - he's still in denial).  Normally this is not my kind of music, but when I listened to the first song it was him all the way.  But then again, there's nothing normal about being in a relationship with a BP.  The second song actually gave me the inspiration to "get rid of it (him)".

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mjlM_RnsVE&list=PL95DBB7E450918E7E&index=3&feature=plpp

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHzU-9iozmo

Since I decided to leave him, and was already flipped black I didn't much care about the consequences.  Nonetheless, does anyone think I went too far?

[Undone123]

My ex constantly communicated through music... .all the time. good times and bad. Always sending youtube vids!

[Rosinka]

So, how did he take it? Have you managed to break away completely?

I think that I might send the second video to my BP. We have kept contact the last three or four years solely by sending each other book-, film- or record titles. Only the last two years it's been pretty much one sided and very intense and very often involving other people (which I really hate). It's been a real freakshow as he's been sending my contribution to his so called friends and colleges at work (we used to work at the same place - now it's the same organisation, but we never meet - but there's a LOT of rumours of course). We are both married and I am a lot older. So he has made me feel a complete fool. He keeps on sending me coded love or hate messages for all to read. I now feel that people have taken my side against him, but I just hate the attention and want it all to stop, but the machine goes on and on. For two years I have been either telling him to leave me alone and focus on his wife and children or kept silent. But I get these messeges every day, so I have got addicted I think and somehow he knows the power he's got over me.

I think I will send him your second video. What do all of you out there think of this mess that I 've got myself into? it's such a crazy story and I feel so ashamed allthough in real life when we worked together one summer we hardly dared to look at each other and we talked about ordinary things. It seemed like an innocent love.Usually I am a responsible, kind and composed person, but this has made me distrust people and thinking about ending it all. I cry a LOT and want to keep to myself.

Love,

Rosinka

[Willingtolearn]

I have had the unfortunate circumstance of having been in two relationships with pwBPD. I horrors of my first relationship back in the late 1980's and early 1990's is still to much for me to bear.  During that relationship there was one song that helped me to some degree.  I share it with you:-

The Human League    Human

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1ysoohV_zA

[LilMissSunshine]

Awh thanks JNChell.  I've heard that song before, many moons ago, but never listened to the words.  I'm so terribly sorry you are still suffering from the horrors of BPD. :'(

Another sufferer clued me into this song and it has been helping me.  I listen to it often.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9aHrgtf2zY

 

[Iwalk-Heruns]

My ex and I also communicated a lot with music LMsunshine! Sending each other videos or sitting together at the computer finding different music on youtube we liked.  Ohhhhh those were the days. Lol!

This is the video I sent him a week (on our anniversary) after he discarded me in the most brutal way on my bday for someone else. Still telling me there was no one else and I was crazy... . ( before I discovered he was also cheating)  Second time he did this to me.

Isn't music just the best! I hear a song everyday that sums up my life, experiences or emotions... . Good and bad. What would we do without it.

He always comes back... . I won't let that happen again!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-T9llCbH5Lo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-T9llCbH5Lo

[Iwalk-Heruns]

Another Christina Perri song... .

It's sad because this one is the way I felt about him and even burned a disc for him of love songs with this one on it. I had never loved someone so much. I Would have done anything for him.

Sorry, Feeling kind of bittersweet tonight. I thought I was over that.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ffkawkZFYtA

[Rosinka]

Hello again!

This is the song I associate with my years in chaos

www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6s3LHX25qc

But these are some of the songs friends and colleges have sent me to keep my spirits up:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=69PcbIxF-04

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQMnWwumPk

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1-OkZzi2VM

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEZsYbULImU

www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7iXcKKpdx0

Music can be such a comfort!

Rosinkaf