Ugg, poison rising again. Losing association shame and anger

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Getting better, 5 months out. Friend staying and he is visiting friend who works with uBPDxgf.

Only connection to her, has stired up the poison.

Guess next stage will be reclaiming places and things that trigger the memories of the devistatingly cruel betrayal. Ouch, much work still to do

Has anyone been through this part?

[Changingman]

Getting better, 5 months out. Friend staying and he is visiting friend who works with uBPDxgf.

Only connection to her, has stired up the poison.

Guess next stage will be reclaiming places and things that trigger the memories of the devistatingly cruel betrayal. Ouch, much work still to do

Has anyone been through this part?

[necchi]

PPPFFFFF!

[necchi]

Changing... .This was acknowledgment.have i ever?

I wish i haven't seen so many facets of the disorder. Need I say more ... .

Nor felt so many emotions. Wish I could split like her, but I'm not cursed.

Imagination is sometimes a virtue... .

[Changingman]

Hello

Yeah laughed at the clumsy post myself.

Meant are there any methods or ways of stopping/coping with these triggers and places.

[necchi]

Hahaha! I really don't know... .read the post I just put on ... .

guess we got to work on a shield then get out and try it out

[Perfidy]

CM... .I can't see how this part that you speak of... .The poison being stirred up by memories and familiar places will ever change for me. What i have been able to do about the memories is change the way i view them. the past isn't real. it cant hurt us.By being mindful and staying in the here and now we can escape the past. the past is gone and it never will be again. this has helped me immensely.  The friend who associated with a friend of a friend... .Well, I suppose you know how to deal with toxic people by now? When there is someone in your life that brings you down that person is toxic to you. Hard choices I know. Here is something that I read the other day that helped me center on my self and where I am NOW.


Friends fell away as I individuated on my soul’s

journey. As I shed one self-sense, I no longer

identified with the people attached to it. Old ways of

interacting seemed artificial, scripted, silly. Whereas

before it was fine to hang out and waste time, now

there was no time to lose. Now I had to protect my

sacred purpose from connections that undermined it.

Be prepared for the lonely times on the journey. It

can be very isolating to quest for true-path amid

the trumpets of modern life. Walking through

uncharted territory often means walking alone. This

is particularly true in the transition stages before

we find our consciousness soulpod. It’s like primary

school all over again—who will be my first REAL

friends?

--Jeff Brown

https://www.facebook.com/SOULSHAPING

[DragoN]

Guess next stage will be reclaiming places and things that trigger the memories of the devistatingly cruel betrayal. Ouch, much work still to do

Went through that years ago. I forced myself to go to all the places I had loved being with him. The first times, I shook a bit, but next time? No. Last night, went for dinner with my GF and walking the streets some little baskets were being sold, and I started crying, memories. Breathe. My GF hugged me.

Wasn't shame nor anger. Sadness. The soul crusher of the dichotomy of my exH. The incredibly beautiful side of him.

Re parent your inner child. Our PD mates ripped off the scabs of some earlier wounds for many of us. For me, was my parents approval. Now, I don't care.

Take your Adult You and your Little You to those places and experience them from a different perspective.

the past isn't real. it cant hurt us.By being mindful and staying in the here and now we can escape the past. the past is gone and it never will be again. this has helped me immensely.

Agree in part with a few small changes:

The past WAS real, it can't hurt us. We can escape the past. We have to. Or all the old tapes from the exPD or even FOO will replay over and over again.

The Past was the Future of the Present. Right now, I have the Present to work on building a better Future.

That's all there is, then it's pushing up daisies time.

[Perfidy]

Yes Megan... The past was real then. It isn't now.

[ShadowDancer]

I was walking with my shadow it seems

When I see the way I thought way back

This life does not mirror those dreams

When you get this far down the track

But that was a long long time ago

And now I'm living a different way

As that train just keeps on rolling slow

To any destination in a brand new day

Now when I go to the places we knew

Like walking after sunset in the park

I smile for lovers walking together as two

As we used to do there in the dark

I don't now think much of what could have been

Life is given only once and that sure won't change

This is now and all of that was way back when

And the weird get going when the going gets strange

[damage control]

I wanted to write something helpful ... or profound  ... or even something that made sense.

Thing is ... .I am not sure that triggers go away for a long, long time. Even then, some linger, we just don't see/hear/touch/smell them as often.

They lose potency ... .eventually ... .

[Changingman]

Thanks everyone,

Just stirred up some hurt/wounds, guess I just had that feeling of wanting to 'fast track' my healing.

I'd already become indifferent to my xuBPDw, just don't want to find another again. The lonely is a part of me I've started to love and respect. How can I be moral without being able to stand alone.

I've blocked the number of the friend who works with x. Tired of getting her sympathy/love you/what's happened was hideous texts. She knew what was going on and kept quiet. What she really wants is forgiveness from me. She needs to forgive herself.

In the end we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.

MLK

'What could have been'

Just sad for everyone

I think I will visit some places to 'pop the bubble'.

Thank you all

'I've been kicking around in the same, stale old shoes'

[Surnia]

I am late her, changingman.

Many of us had similar experiences. Its hard to face a trigger after a while of better days. 

And as humans we are easily triggered.

Just stirred up some hurt/wounds, guess I just had that feeling of wanting to 'fast track' my healing.

Yes, healing needs time. Lot of time and patience.