BPD parent with gun?

[arky]

Does anyone have experience with a BPD parent pulling a gun? My mother has pulled a gun at least half a dozen times that I can recall. Latest incident was yesterday when my sister overheard her telling me what a "gold digger" she is (my sister has a boyfriend with a decent paying job and was talking about buying my sister a car) and confronted her. I was on the phone for the first part of the incident and my sister called me after she left to let me know what happened.

Apparently my mother jumped on top of her, ripped her necklace off, tore her shirt, and pinned her to the floor and proceeded to try and punch my sister in the ribs until my sister managed to kick her off. Of course, my mother played the victim with that, because I called her after talking to my sister and acted like I didn't know anything, and my mom made it seem like my sister randomly cursed her out and kicked her in the stomach before storming out. Although the visual of my 100 lb sister busting through the door, cursing my mother out, and scissor kicking her in the stomach is a funny one, I know it isn't true.

Anyway... . long story short, as my sister was trying to get her keys to leave, my mother made it back to her bedroom and came out with her handgun. My sister said she said something along the lines of, "Whoa! What are you doing?" And my mother's response was, "Oh, just chill. I am going to buy ammo to target shoot." I mean... . how convenient. She decides to go "target shooting" right after a huge physical altercation. Oh, and the best part? She posts on Facebook hours later: "After a bit of target practice, it's obvious I need it!" Like... . What the heck. Really.

If I had been there, I would have called the cops, but my sister didn't. She is so scared of my mother it's sad. But she's right. My mother is so high functioning that she could fool the cops and we'd look like the bad guys.

I really need to develop the courage to go full NC with her. She is so toxic.

[losthero]

She sounds very dangerous.  Please recognize evil, jealous rage when you see it.  If this was any other person in the world we would not tolerate it.  Please protect yourselves from her.  VLC or NC may be needed with her.   My BPdmil brags about pulling a gun on my BIL and keeps a gun by her fireplace.  She has such evil jealous rage towards others.  I keep VLC with her now. 

[arky]

She sounds very dangerous.  Please recognize evil, jealous rage when you see it.  If this was any other person in the world we would not tolerate it.  Please protect yourselves from her.  VLC or NC may be needed with her.   My BPdmil brags about pulling a gun on my BIL and keeps a gun by her fireplace.  She has such evil jealous rage towards others.  I keep VLC with her now. 

I don't understand why I can't just go NC/VLC with her. I guess I have this fear that she will demonize and isolate me from that entire side of my family, because she has in the past.

[Sitara]

This definitely sounds like a dangerous situation.  You need to make sure you stay safe.  Here's a couple threads you might find helpful.

SELF-AWARE: What it means to be in the "FOG" talks about the fear, obligation, and guilt that keeps us in unhealthy relationships. https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog

TOOLS: Radical Acceptance for family members talks about acceptance.  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=89910.0

I hope you find something helpful. 

Please keep yourself safe.

[losthero]

You are right. She will demonize you to everyone.  I handled it by talking to everyone in the family first, before she was able to taint things, however I must caution thst I live in another state away from her.  If you live close and you fear her you will need to be very careful.   She is not emotionally stable.  Im so sorry you have to suffer with someone like her 

[GaGrl]

My DH's ex has ended up in jail several times over the years for pulling a gun on her boyfriends. She's also been arrested for taking a tire iron to a boyfriend's windshield. This started when she was in her early 20s with the most recent incident about 8 months ago - she's now 58. She doesn't get better.

[yeabright]

My mom has threatened me at gunpoint twice in the past 8 or so years. The first time when I was a senior in high school (about 8 years ago) and the second time just a few months ago. She claims that she is deathly afraid of someone breaking into the house, despite the fact that there is an active alarm system w/motion detectors, security/screen doors on each external doorway, and two dogs in the house. So she keeps a loaded .22 revolver with her under a pillow on her bed at all times.

I've lost count of how many times over the years she has pulled it on herself in hysteria or to get attention during a pity party.

One of these days I'm hoping she has the guts to the pull the trigger on herself... . and I feel so ashamed to find some hope in that scenario.

[arky]

My mom has threatened me at gunpoint twice in the past 8 or so years. The first time when I was a senior in high school (about 8 years ago) and the second time just a few months ago. She claims that she is deathly afraid of someone breaking into the house, despite the fact that there is an active alarm system w/motion detectors, security/screen doors on each external doorway, and two dogs in the house. So she keeps a loaded .22 revolver with her under a pillow on her bed at all times.

I've lost count of how many times over the years she has pulled it on herself in hysteria or to get attention during a pity party.

One of these days I'm hoping she has the guts to the pull the trigger on herself... . and I feel so ashamed to find some hope in that scenario.

I feel ashamed for understanding your plight. My life is filled with one dramatic thing after another because of her. It becomes emotionally exhausting.