Update on CPS

[angel1234]

Well I thought the 30 days was over and boy was I wrong. The CPS person who was called based on false accusations made by my exBPD boyfriend that I leave my daughter at home alone for several hours called my daughter's father. He was also made aware of the situation as soon as I got the visit from CPS a month ago. I am now terrified again. The CPS person kept telling my daughter's father (who is NOT my recent BPD ex who made these false claims) she was trying to call him for three days and his phone was off. His phone is never off even for a few hours. He kept telling her his phone wasn't off and she became more angry with him. He dropped it. She asked the standard questions like if I leave my kid at home alone, if he leaves her, if he's ever seen bruises on her, etc. I've never even spanked my child... . not even once. Not ever. The worse she's gotten is a time out.

What is really upsetting to me is that my daughter's father has an older daughter from a previous marriage. She's 10. She did lose her mother due to CPS and a guardian ad litem and a massive mess through the court systems because her mother was an alchoholic. It was pretty traumatic for her and she hasn't seen her mother in years. I've spent alot of time with her and she stays weekends with my daughter and I. She loves it here. She usually doesn't want to go home. The CPS person told him that she is going to visit his older daughter at school to speak to her. That has me so upset. The complaint wasn't even about her and now this little girl has to go through this experience again. I'm so angry and upset now all over again. I have to try and keep myself off the internet reading horror stories about people's children being taken away for false claims. This is all such a nightmare. I can't sleep and am having really bad anxiety again. What kind of sick person would tell lies about me leaving my child at home alone? My BPD ex spent so much time here. He KNOWS what I do day in and day out with my daughter. He knows I'm home with her every night. He knows I've never neglected her. This is so sick.

[Tolou]

Angel, sorry to hear that.  That is so messed up.  Unfortunately it is the people that know us the best that know how to hurt us the most.  He knows you are a good mom, and so do and he usign that against you.  I would keep documentation of the time you are home with your daughter, like a log , that you were togeather and logs of his threats etc... . to show to cps. If you can ever get a recording of him saying he will say those things falsely against and play for cps, that might help you to, that is so wrong.  Espcially when there are children involved, that has to with these individuals having no boundaries and crossing nay lines to get their needs met, or seek revenge on those they believe have wronged them.  I would also talk to someone at cps and ask what you can do about someone making false accusations against you and try explaining the nature of the disorder?'  It is a difficult situation because they have to check to make sure it isn't true for the safety of the child.  But document everything you can when your home with her, and if makes threats over the phone try to record some.  Or ask him why he falsely accused and see if you can get some valid evidence against what he has been doing?

Goodluck, this was just some food for thought, I hope it helps.

[momtara]

Those stories on the internet are the worst - ignore them.  There are thousands of cases where it works out fairly, but of course you aren't going to see those on the net.  We get ourselves so anxious that we shoot ourselves in the foot.  Right now is the worst because you just don't know.  However, this may work out for the best - the older daughter will tell her nice things.  Maybe there is a way to carefully and properly prepare her without saying anything that will be repeated to cps and look bad - just let her know not to worry and to be nice.  This CPS woman has to do her job but in the end she will be satisfied and move on.  I'm sorry you have to go through this.