she even devalues me in her dreams

[Turkish]

She's been sleeping on the couch since august (weird gender reversal, right? That was her choice). She opened my room at 4am and said she heard a noise. I said I didn't hear anything (and I'm a light sleeper). I guess she's still scared due to the burglary. In the morning, she told me she had a dream where people broke into the house, she was with the kids, but I was not there ( abandonment). I told her, gee, you even think I m worthless in your dreams! She scoffed and said no, then laughed. It just goes to show how her subconcious processes these things.

[arn131arn]

Is she a light sleeper as well, Turk?

I ask becasue mine was... .

[Turkish]

Is she a light sleeper as well, Turk?

I ask becasue mine was... .

No. She's a heavy sleeper. Late sleeper (hence my getting up to take care of D1 for the past year). It was fine for the first few months, the it started bugging me... . like eating life, slleping in until 11 ot so on weekends.

[arn131arn]

Interesting phsychological dynamic at play over there.

Do you learn or use any techniques on this board like SET, DBT, extinction, etc to pass the time with no turmoil?

It doesn't seem like it's very high conflict over there.  The reason I ask is because I will be going LC after this week when custody agreement has been reached.

[goldylamont]

oh boy the dreams. i only had one experience like this but it was painful. it was a couple weeks after we had broken up but before (i think before) she started seeing the next guy. we were sleeping in the same bed and she woke me up full on crying. i woke up before her and held her and asked her what was wrong. when she woke up she told me she had a dream where she walked in on me having sex with another woman and then that i started verbally berating her. i think i damn near started crying then. i held her and told her i hope she knows that i would never do any of this, her response "oh it's ok, i had the same dream when i broke up with my last ex. just means the relationship is over".

thanks sweetie!

[Waifed]

Is she a light sleeper as well, Turk?

I ask becasue mine was... .

Mine was.  She always would touch me with her foot while sleeping. If I moved away in the middle of the night she would wake up and put her foot back on my body. I always thought this was very strange. If I got out of bed she always asked me where I was going.

[Waifed]

oh boy the dreams. i only had one experience like this but it was painful. it was a couple weeks after we had broken up but before (i think before) she started seeing the next guy. we were sleeping in the same bed and she woke me up full on crying. i woke up before her and held her and asked her what was wrong. when she woke up she told me she had a dream where she walked in on me having sex with another woman and then that i started verbally berating her. i think i damn near started crying then. i held her and told her i hope she knows that i would never do any of this, her response "oh it's ok, i had the same dream when i broke up with my last ex. just means the relationship is over".

thanks sweetie!

Ouch!  That is brutal. POS.

[shellsh0cked]

oh boy the dreams. i only had one experience like this but it was painful. it was a couple weeks after we had broken up but before (i think before) she started seeing the next guy. we were sleeping in the same bed and she woke me up full on crying. i woke up before her and held her and asked her what was wrong. when she woke up she told me she had a dream where she walked in on me having sex with another woman and then that i started verbally berating her. i think i damn near started crying then. i held her and told her i hope she knows that i would never do any of this, her response "oh it's ok, i had the same dream when i broke up with my last ex. just means the relationship is over".

thanks sweetie!

I had a dream about a year ago.  We had been broken up about 6 months... . think I was actually awake initially... . Woke up by myself and started thinking about how much I missed sleeping with someone... . I think I actually then dozed off.  Next thing I remember is being in the bedroom that I slept in with my mother when I was just a little boy. I remember seeing the moon cut through the window as it does at that house…I was lying in the bed and there was a woman with me.  I was confused and was like “who is this?”  Then I saw her brown hair and heard her sigh and move a little…That’s when I realized it was M.  I thought to myself…”Oh no…oh my god…how could I be back here with her?   How could I let this happen?”  Scared the piss out of me, and I immediately woke up shaking.  So disturbed by this that I didn’t go back to sleep for four hours.  Quite traumatized by this 140lb gal.  I’m 6’4” 230lbs…Doesn’t seem logical does it?  She was killing me slowly and I found that whole situation terrifying.  You guys ever have dreams like that?  

[happylogist]

I would not call it as a pure devaluation, maybe a bit of abandonment, but it seems you are reading way too much into it and more concerned what she thinks of you.