video taped a melt down

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

last week the exgf ask me if I wanted to go out for a drink, I went. the night went like always, to much drinking and POW melt down. im not sure when she started acting like this after drinking but these days she really flips out after a few drinks.

ive seen this melt down three times in the past couple months. I knew it was coming. I turned the video cam on my cell on and sat it on the table as she blamed me for letting her move out of our home and into a rental trailer in a town she hates where the drugs are out of control. begging me not to leave her then saying she hates me a minute latter and it makes her happy to hit and kick me. she even says she knows shes not a victim she a predator and looks for ppl she can use and have control over. tape still running as she holds a cig to her arm and tells me she wants to feel pain and it takes all she has to not cut herself.

wrong of me to tape her without her know maybe but it is legal here as long as at least one person in the conversion knows the conversion is being taped.

why did I tape it? at the time it was because I knew she was going to flip out and didn't know how bad it would be, was making sure I had proof I did nothing wrong!

now when ever I think of contacting her I play the tape to remind me why I left

[simplyasiam]

last week the exgf ask me if I wanted to go out for a drink, I went. the night went like always, to much drinking and POW melt down. im not sure when she started acting like this after drinking but these days she really flips out after a few drinks.

ive seen this melt down three times in the past couple months. I knew it was coming. I turned the video cam on my cell on and sat it on the table as she blamed me for letting her move out of our home and into a rental trailer in a town she hates where the drugs are out of control. begging me not to leave her then saying she hates me a minute latter and it makes her happy to hit and kick me. she even says she knows shes not a victim she a predator and looks for ppl she can use and have control over. tape still running as she holds a cig to her arm and tells me she wants to feel pain and it takes all she has to not cut herself.

wrong of me to tape her without her know maybe but it is legal here as long as at least one person in the conversion knows the conversion is being taped.

why did I tape it? at the time it was because I knew she was going to flip out and didn't know how bad it would be, was making sure I had proof I did nothing wrong!

now when ever I think of contacting her I play the tape to remind me why I left

[love4meNOTu]

No, no... I taped my xhwBPD screaming at me. (3 separate occasions) He doesn't know I did it, but I have it.

I haven't listened to them for quite a while, but I also have them archived on my computer with some rather "naked" pictures of him.

I will keep them until I feel there is no need to have them, but until then, they are insurance. I dare him to take me on.

L

[fromheeltoheal]

It wouldn't be cool to post the vid to YouTube and send us the link. Wouldn't be cool at all. Just sayin... .

[simplyasiam]

i wouldn't post it any where wouldn't use it in any way other than to remind myself why i shouldn't be around her

[fromheeltoheal]

i wouldn't post it any where wouldn't use it in any way other than to remind myself why i shouldn't be around her

Yeah, I figured simply, and good for you.  Just the morbid curiosity of fellow victims.

Two movies that do BPD very well are Prozac Nation and Thirteen, if we want Hollywood versions.

[simplyasiam]

thank you i didn't know of any movies like that.

ill check into them.

[santa]

It wouldn't be cool to post the vid to YouTube and send us the link. Wouldn't be cool at all. Just sayin... .

LMAO

Yeah. He totally shouldn't do that.

[ogopogodude]

quote: "wrong of me to tape her without her know"

No, ... . it was not wrong to video tape. Do NOT ever feel that it is wrong. It is documentation. And that all it is... .

(why do some people thing that videotaping or audio-taping a temper rage is wrong or somehow a betrayal of the person that is raging?... . this perspective oh, so bewilders me. I have so many video tapes of my spouse's rages that I needed to document that nonsense.)

But I do not advocate downloading such a video of rage to youtube. No,... not at all.

[RecycledNoMore]

i wouldn't post it any where wouldn't use it in any way other than to remind myself why i shouldn't be around her

Bugger

Just call me morbidly curious:)

[really]

I'm in.   The alternative doesn't work

[Moonie75]

During a rage episode from my ex, I calmly walked out of the house without responding or having any desire to defend myself. Just walked right out of it because I simply couldn't be ar$ed listening to it.

That Rage then took the form of three voice mails on my phone. (Including one threatening to get me beat up) 

Those 3 voice mails have become a priceless 'reminding' tool in my detachment.

[love4meNOTu]

Oh lordy, I have one where he is screaming ABOUT me on the phone to his one friend.

Now that one is priceless.

The day that man left my home was the best day of my life. I became alive again.

[gary seven]

Simply:

In my state it is also only necessary for one party to consent to a taping.  In fact I made a consult with a lwayer a few months ago who suggested I tape all the outrageous calls.

My suggestion to you is to get Carbonite or some other cloud service, in your own name, in your own account, and back up your laptop and cellphone.  Password protect it with something outta left field.  You may need this to substantiate in court if you get served, or locked up. 

Remember to keep your work computer clean, other than documents you may need to type, or diaries of the day before's antics.  No emails.

I agree as others have said it's a reliable touchstone to bring you right back into the fracas when it's a "good moment."  For me , it will confirm what ultimately needs to happen, to split once and for all (I have three school aged kids and have been married 11 yrs).

[delusionalxox]

LOL, I wish I had done this!

My problem is I used to shout back! I would end up sounding like him by the end!