BPD... Progressive?

[arn131arn]

I know now that ever since my 14 year RS with my exBPDgf started she showed traits. Ex push/pull, lying, drinking, self-harm, \75 85 2#*=zt really until the last 6-8 years did the real insanity begin. Raging, false accusations of abuse, victim waif, etc. So, I was wonfering does the disorder manifest progresively during the RS only or in life, as a whole? Meaning does it take time to develop throughout her RSs or does it progress throughout life, in general?

[karma_gal]

I know now that ever since my 14 year RS with my exBPDgf started she showed traits. Ex push/pull, lying, drinking, self-harm, \75 85 2#*=zt really until the last 6-8 years did the real insanity begin. Raging, false accusations of abuse, victim waif, etc. So, I was wonfering does the disorder manifest progresively during the RS only or in life, as a whole? Meaning does it take time to develop throughout her RSs or does it progress throughout life, in general?

Awesome question and I can't wait to see the responses because I have noticed the same thing -- just a steady progression of behaviors, getting worse and worse with each year.  I often wonder, like you, if it's only happening because of the nature of an intimate relationship or if they do this as a general rule throughout life.  So many of them function wonderfully, and without employing these destructive behaviors that we see, in life in general -- work, superficial friendships, et cetera -- that I often wonder how it manifests outside of a RS. 

Anyway, can't wait to see what the experts of the site come up with, and thanks for asking this because I think it will help so many of us still struggling with questions. 

[Tobefree]

My stbxh has definitely gotten progressively worse. I think his alcoholism and that progression has contributed to the sex addiction which contributed to the Jekyll Hyde presence in our home. As I have recently realized that his father and 3 older brothers all self destructed at age 60 or older with the help of alcohol and affairs. My beloved has the dubious distinction of preferring to pay for sex.

[arn131arn]

Bueller... . Bueller? Anyone... . anyone?

[letmeout]

20 yrs ago I took my BPDh to a psychologist and the doctor (who told me that is what he was, asked me to never bring him back again) and said some borderlines mellow out with age, and some get worse. Its a crap shoot.

Well mine got worse the older he got. My last year with him was like living with Freddie Kruger. Oh the insanity of it all, he was a complete nightmare and dangerous to be around. 

[arn131arn]

I read somewhere that women bordeline s tend to act out during hormonalChanges. I always found her very hostile during menstrual cycles. Would this meAn that during menopause they would die down in acting out? Maybe, I could get back together with my son's mother when we're 50... . ! Lol. Let, was ur husband's behavior progressive during ur rs with him or in life in general, meaning after the rs was over?

[letmeout]

I have no contact with him at all, but from what I have heard it sounds like he is getting worse. He doesn't have me to target anymore, so he is randomly targeting his other family members.

[arn131arn]

How old is he, letme out?

[letmeout]

He is 14 years old in a 57 year old body. LOL

[growing_wings]

I know now that ever since my 14 year RS with my exBPDgf started she showed traits. Ex push/pull, lying, drinking, self-harm, \75 85 2#*=zt really until the last 6-8 years did the real insanity begin. Raging, false accusations of abuse, victim waif, etc. So, I was wonfering does the disorder manifest progresively during the RS only or in life, as a whole? Meaning does it take time to develop throughout her RSs or does it progress throughout life, in general?

man you were lucky (maybe?) to have had a few good years. I only had a few good months and we were friends there. whe things got more close, she would dysregulate from week 2 into r/s

definitely worse during PMS

i saw a difference in her behaviour when i didnt follow what she told me to do to the letter. then the need to control me went to the roof...

i have read that pre or during menopause things can get even worse indeed.

who knows!