Well done US

[Mazda]

The other day I went through my old chat logs with voldemort and saw a conversation during round god knows what number of devaluation and recycling, when I was trying to "help" him (waste of precious calories there... . I at least hope it burned some fat.). Before I knew anything about BPD, I was asking him questions like... are you afraid of being abandoned?  Do you realise you withdraw often for no reason to the outside work but justified to you?  Do you realise that when you retreat to your dark place your eyes glaze over as if you are vacant?  Do you realise you treat me badly to push me away for no reason?

And then I realised... . I am a badass smarty pants.  I figured him all out.  And so, BPD fam, let's all take a minute out of the pain, and pat ourselves on the back.  We figured out it was BPD.  We got ourselves out of a toxic relationship and we survived the FOG.

Give me an S

Give me an U

Give me an R

Give me an V

Give me an I

Give me an V

Give me an O

Give me an R

Give me an S

What do you get?

SURVIVORS! Woohoo!

[Ironmanrises]

I asked my Medusa all those same questions too, some in round 1 before i even knew of BPD, and all of them in round 2 when i already knew of it. They were usually answered in a deflecting way("stop analyzing me", ignored(silent treatment, literally ignored), or pointed right back at me("you are like that". Just awful. No winning in any of that. I am getting chest pains remembering her silent treatment, like it felt I literally ceased to exist for her. Survivors we are. In all facets. 

[CoasterRider]

Before I knew anything about BPD, I was asking him questions like... are you afraid of being abandoned?  Do you realise you withdraw often for no reason to the outside work but justified to you?  Do you realise that when you retreat to your dark place your eyes glaze over as if you are vacant?  Do you realise you treat me badly to push me away for no reason?

Funny looking back at my ex and thinking about past one sided discussion I now see the exact same behaviors that are clearly explained by BPD whereas before they made nonsense and I couldn't place their cause.

Those of us who are firmly standing in reality can always tell when something is a miss even though we can't put out finger on it. Nice to see in not the only one who feels slightly valid in our original thinking that something seriously wasn't right and we were asking the right questions. Even tho our ex's didn't want to know or accept the answers and truth.

[Waifed]

I recently stumbled upon an email that I had sent her the last couple of months before I got out.  I had never heard of BPD but I described her behavior almost like a diagnosis.  It was crazy.  I remember her response to the email "I deleted it without even reading it" . Freak Show.

[CoasterRider]

I remember a letter I wrote him the first time he left after I stood up for my boundaries and needs. I talked about his black and white thinking, making someone responsible for his happiness, his lack of the use of logic and over indulgence to his primal instinct. His inability to see responsibility and take accountability and his painting me black by justifying his decision by balling up all my faults that he Judges me so harshly for when he himself acknowledges his own imperfection. Who knew what it all really meant, it was written in the moment yet still spot on and accurate two months later.