When I was in my early 20's... my BPDgf dumped me and took up with a neighbor of mine. I felt homicidal/suicidal... and very nearly did something very stupid. Instead I moved away and left no way to contact me. Over 20 yrs later my exBPDgf contacted me... via FB I was indifferent until I heard her voice on the phone(big mistake)... and got sucked back in, and the problems started.
We recycled 7-8 times... and she found a few other guys in the process, then we were supposed to move in together and she went NC and took up with another guy. So I wrote her off.
It was painful... but I had already decided it wasn't going to work. She has serious problems and lives in a state of total denial of responsibility for anything.
Accepting that she is disordered, that she does the things she does because that is who she is and realizing that the only time I am fairly certain she was honest with me was when she was hating... . made it easier.
My replacement... with mindfulness... I was able to feel not hatred or jealousy... but sorry for. He didn't last long, the fighting was full swing within 3 months... and they split by 4 months... and he left her with a STD according to her.
She contacted me about 400 times since then... . I was cordial at first... . she said can we be friends... and I said okay, but refused to see her. In about a week she threw a fit about how she wasn't going to waste her time being my friend, she deserved more, I just said ok, and haven't talked to her since. Been about 18 months NC.
I know I am finally getting on with my life, I dated, have gf and blocked her FB and mine so I don't check on her, and she isn't getting anything from my FB anymore... . I don't post anything anymore. Learning from my mistakes.
Wow, this about the same thing I am going through now. Exgf wanting to be friends, will not stop, constantly texting we should be friends…….She cannot let go of any of her past ex’s, like a trophy room for her on fb.
I am constantly, no, no friendship…... she won’t stop. If I go NC after saying no, she keeps on and on and on. When she does slow down, doesn’t contact me for a couple of days…then comes back with another text saying that I don’t care about her……
I guess not having me as a friend means in some way she lost, I don’t know. It’s more likely to just keep me as a backup…which I have told her I will not participate in, no way! But she claims it is not as a backup…go figure…what else would she say? Right.
It’s an f**ing circus
