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Experts share their discoveries [video]
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Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
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Ivan Spielberg, PhD
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Author Topic: Attacks on our Appearance  (Read 511 times)
Changingman
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Daughter 15, Son 14
Posts: 644



« Reply #30 on: January 30, 2014, 04:59:01 PM »

Popcorn, it's abuse and control.

Go no Popcorntact

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Changingman
*****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Daughter 15, Son 14
Posts: 644



« Reply #31 on: January 30, 2014, 05:09:42 PM »

I agree silence is golden.  It actually says so much more than verbalizing.

If you HAVE to say anything, just tell them you are happy with your appearance, your clothes, your hair, whatever they are complaining about... . then just walk away.  Above all, do not argue with them.

They are projecting their self-defined worthlessness and angst about their own shortcomings on to you.

It is their problem.  Not yours.  

Silence IS Golden, it keeps the engaging and manipulation and crazy making damp, for my x to fill a silence on her own. Near impossible.

Went quiet at the last meeting, just all felt odd and her crying was interspersed with her breaking the fake tears and staring at me angry and confused then back to the tears on and on, waiting for me to talk. I didn't, I was wearing sunglasses and it made her so uncomfortable she started raging at me to get anything happening. She hated mirror sunglasses so much, I understand now why. Can't mirror properly.
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