Hi Vatz,
I know that you've been dealing with situation for quite some time now. I'm sorry that things have gotten worse. It's painful to feel stuck and go through the emotional drama, too.
Have you had a chance to investigate the renter laws in your state/area? What rights do you have, and what rights does she have?
Do you want to continue the relationship but just not live together? Have you communicated to your gf what you want to happen and when?
Sorry about all the questions. I don't know how far you've planned your next move, or if you need more time to reflect, so feel free to write more as you feel moved to.
Hang in there, Vatz. We're here for you.
I neither want to continue the relationship or live together. ALTHOUGH... . if I wanted her to find a place of her own while away from me, under the pretense that we're still together. But that won't happen because she will take ZERO initiative and I'll have to do all the legwork. Seems like it would be worth it, but even convincing her seems impossible. My folks might know what to do and how to approach the problem. We had a verbal agreement that she won't raise voice over a certain level, but she broke that. She actually broke a few things in the apartment and that's usually enough.
But no, I neither want to be with her or any of that. Last time she talked to me about helping her with her problems and I told her that it's never enough. Basically she said "If I can't get the help I need, then there's no point." If I break up with her, and she stays hopefully she'll eventually leave of her own accord.
As for renter laws, if she has stayed in my home for 30 days regardless of lease then she is entitled to stay unless she has been given proper warning. Seeing as how she is not on the lease SHE is trespassing. But by letting her be a guest in my apartment for so long, it sort of becomes a legal issue for me. I told her from the start that she isn't actually living here with me, she's a guest. I was hoping her stay would help her get on her feet and maybe even reconcile with her parents and no such luck whatsoever. Instead I have to deal with her issues and she refuses to help herself in any way. She's been abusive before and I found myself yelling at her on a few occasions and am not liking who I'm turning into.
I just want her gone. But I feel like I'll be paying a steep price. My folks worked so hard in helping me get this place and furnishing it. Much as I really care about keeping my apartment. I care more about her undermining my parent's hard work.
