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Depression: Stop Being Tortured by Your Own Thoughts
Surviving a Break-up when Your Partner has BPD
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Codependency and Codependent Relationships
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Author Topic: Which personality type is best suited for a BPD relationship?  (Read 3556 times)
Landslide2014
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 102



« Reply #30 on: February 24, 2014, 05:56:39 AM »

I was thinking that so many of the traits listed here, at least for me, did allow for my BpdH To manipulate and control, in effect allow him to feel his own "worth" and "security" however much that could be.  I gave him the freedom to use his BPD traits and tried not to make waves, just minimized his actions and allowed for them. Not healthy for me. It wasn't until I began challenging and standing up for my own sense of self by setting boundaries 1.5 years ago ( it took 20 years to realize this!)  that his actions were more pronounced and more abusive. His disease escalates when my boundaries are clear. I guess I subconsciously protected that all of these years. Enabler? I assume that this intensified the threat of abandonment for him. Not for me to fix... . Just really helpful when I can understand it more and gives me the clarity to see my way out of the FOG. Thank you for all the perspective and helping me get there. And for being able to find gratitude along the way. 
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