rosesarered777,
You are one of the few Leaving board members who has gotten closure, so good for you.
You seem to be very clear on what was going on, and very firm in wanting to detach.
How long have you been separated, and how do you
feel about the idealization, lying, and abrupt discard?
Keep writing, we're listening.
She originally did not wish to give me closure! A friend of mine was still on her Facebook and told me that she was getting a sub, so I met her halfway from her place! She was absolutely FURIOUS to see me!
She said that if I had something to say that that would be the time to say it because I would never see her again! She was always that dramatic and "bhity" whenever she was upset.
I did not realize that she would lie about cheating on me but I realized that most of what she had told me over the course of the relationship was an utter lie. It's kind of sad to think about now but I now know that the relationship failed not due to a lack of love and/or commitment but because she was not capable of enjoying a steady (honest) relationship! It's sad but it sure beats getting a STD or being absolutely miserable in the decades to come spending so much time care-taking for her!
She really was a total drain on my finances and instead of buying things for myself, I was buying her food and/or clothes, etc. because her family was so poor! I hate to think what will happen to her once her parents retire or expire ... . She does not seem capable of earning enough money to survive or work full-time anymore.
If her new boy-toy gets sick of her or her behaviour after the 6-8 months of honeymoon 'bliss', she is surely in a horrible position to be in...
It was a total shock when I was discarded. I had caught her in lies before but I became a pushover when I would not have tolerated it from anyone else. It was sick and her constant attacks made me feel like it was my fault and almost as sick as she!
The adrupt discard is seriously cruel. Even my previous ex is still friends with me (as I wrote above) although I hadn't spoken to her between 2011 and 2014, just up until a few weeks ago! One expects a civilized split after 4 years but she just isn't capable of it, just like she isn't capable of giving and taking. The 90% to her and 10% ratio to me 'sharing ratio' is highly accurate and I really did think that if she leaned on me, she would appreciate it somewhat and not misbehave!
They are truly 100% selfish and I do not think they care about anyone else, no matter if they have brief glimpses of sympathy for family members...
My $0.02.
