PSTD

[Depression = 72% of members]

Is there any possibilities that one of broad advisors explain what is PSTD regarding to BPD relationships please.

I have got tremendous fears about everything and can't stop worrying about everything. I mean over worried!  

[Pearl55]

Is there any possibilities that one of broad advisors explain what is PSTD regarding to BPD relationships please.

I have got tremendous fears about everything and can't stop worrying about everything. I mean over worried!  

[Calm Waters]

Hi I am just a member but i know a little about PTSD. I think I was in PTSD for some months after my break up with a BPD. I couldn't sleep without tablets, couldn't come to terms with what had happened, ruminated constantly about the circumstances etc. Latest on PTSD is that if you concentrate too much on the truma it moves from one part of the brain that can process and let go, to another part of the brain which almost hard wires the trauma. You will find this on the web I am sure. there are various techniques to help you move the trauma from the fixed to the more plastic part of the brain. The main things that helped me where:

reading and understanding BPD many books and online resources available but be discriminating

Midfullness meditation

Writing my thoughts and feelings, stories about what happened and how I feel about it, letters that are never to be sent etc

I joined a mens group, still meet every two weeks - talking in a safe environment

Coming to terms with my own BPD / NPD issues and trying to heal

I tried antidepressants, i dodnt like them and stuck with the above

I have found meletonin helps with sleep issues

I hope some of that helps

[Pearl55]

Thanks calm water

There are many PSTD infos are on the web but I couldn't relate them to BPD relationships. One of the reason I can't stop ruminating is that my ex can't stop hurting me. He wants to make sure I suffer a lot.

[Take2]

Hi Pearl... .   I know I am suffering from PTSD due my ongoing brutal contact from my exBPDbf who I work with.  The inability to go NC makes it truly difficult to move forward.  Much of it my own fault because it's incredibly hard to see him constantly and know he's there so close (two aisles over).  It's so difficult to lift myself up and remember the ME that I know is a good person... . there is seriously only so much one can hear about oneself before one starts to believe it... .   even when intellectually I KNOW what he says is nonsense meant only to hurt me - the problem is that it works... . and shatters me even more every time.

Are you still in contact with your ex?  is that how he continues to hurt you?

Can you take any steps to reduce contact? 

I am trying the steps that Calm Water has outlined - antidepressants (they help me big time), therapy, tons of working out, meditation, and new to a 12 step program.  Also looking for a new job (not as easy as it sounds).

I still feel the searing pain and think about it all constantly.  I believe if we can remove ourselves from the ongoing pain - while the "withdrawal" will be even more pain than the brutality shoved on us by our ex's - eventually we will find a new normal and rewire our brains to a calmer place.  It seems like it really can't happen as long as the stress keeps coming at us and keeps us (me) addicted to it.

Truly a bizarre phenomen... .

[MissyM]

I have been diagnosed with PTSD from my relationship with my dBPDh.  A lot of therapy and now adding in EMDR, has been priceless.  When PTSD is triggered, there is a huge physiological response that shuts down higher reasoning.  Really, I think EMDR has been a life saver fro me.

And I attend 12 step programs for codependency.  They help, also.

[Calm Waters]

Hi yes i have heard that EMDR helps, never tried it but reports are positive. Thankfully I am NC even though at first it was excrutiating, I can understand how being in constant proximity could be torture.

[Perfidy]

Any relationship that leaves us feeling PTSD is not healthy. I experienced all of the symptoms. I'm still experiencing some of them. At times I will just blank out. I recognize when it happens. My symptoms are easing. As much as I want to take responsibility for my self, this is directly related to a person whom I loved, that lacked communication skill and abandoned me without notice. My self esteem was destroyed. My ego was reduced to nothing. I lost my will to live. Fell into deep depression. A wound that needed to heal.

One foot in front of the other. No contact period. No more. That, to me, is the first step in healing. The rest is learning as much about my self and how to create love in my world without another person. Learning how to value my self again, by not placing value on me by what anybody else says or does. It's hard. Creating a nurturing environment by surrounding my self with people and things that I like. It's like chipping away at a huge boulder and finding a precious treasure inside.

[Tausk]

Dear Pearl:

I'm sorry for your pain.  It must hurt a great deal.

I'm worried for you.  Are you seeing a Therapist?  :)o you have a support network at home?  

If you are not seeing a T, maybe it's time.  And if you can't afford one, but live in the states, the local county or city may have services for you.

Please take care of yourself by seeking help if you need it.

In support.