What I do worry about is our kids. They are young enough to not understand the insanity.
Sorry to hear, I think we are more sensitive by nature of it. I am dealing with that right now (3 months of evil comments to kids since separation). Under ten years old, they may switch sides a few times, get confused. Over ten years old, they begin to see thru the FOG. That is my experience right now as well. In speaking with others in my life with even adult kids, the pattern is there, you be solid and calm, and the kids typically read thru it, matter of time.
And, carrying oneself in a calm solid manner with both cripple the BPD'er wanting to incite drama, and will instill confidence in your kids. You have a lemon, the time has come to make lemonade, it will stir itself... .