how about our children ?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Anybody feel guilty about being so consumed by the relationship that you feel like youve neglected your family in many ways ?

I know i havent been emotionally present at all for three years!

My teenagers couldnt stand him and they have lost respect for me for being with him

I am motivated to get well so i can give my kids a healthier example of relationships

They only know a very small fraction of what went on of course.  I had reasonably good boundaries with them but kids are smart.

I want to b healtthy again so i can b present for them when im with them

[corraline]

Anybody feel guilty about being so consumed by the relationship that you feel like youve neglected your family in many ways ?

I know i havent been emotionally present at all for three years!

My teenagers couldnt stand him and they have lost respect for me for being with him

I am motivated to get well so i can give my kids a healthier example of relationships

They only know a very small fraction of what went on of course.  I had reasonably good boundaries with them but kids are smart.

I want to b healtthy again so i can b present for them when im with them

[Want2know]

I didn't have my own children, but my ex had 3 kids that I was and still am involved with, and have tried my best to work with them in regards to their relationship with their father.

What is the living arrangement regarding your children and their father? 

[corraline]

My exBPD partner is not the father  of my children

The father of my kids is actually being very supportive and helping me get thru this by listening to me and providing extra care with the kids

I am grateful to him for this

I am lucky to have not had my ex BPD guy as a coparent.  I cant imagine

His one daughter in particular has an alarming amount of anxiety and need for perfection to the point of an obvious eating disorder . She was constantly frustrated with her dad... it was sad.

She is lovely and i feel for her

I will miss the relationship i was developing with both of the girls... i wish i could have closure with the older one i was close to.  She is 23 but i dont think it would b a healthy idea to go there. 

My children are teens and i have not been fully engaged with them the last 3 yrs cause i let myself get soo messed up in that relationship

My daughter has a hard time with my depression right now but we r talking about it.

[Want2know]

My exBPD partner is not the father  of my children

The father of my kids is actually being very supportive and helping me get thru this by listening to me and providing extra care with the kids

I am grateful to him for this

This is good.  You can be there for your children.  If you allow the last 3 years to guide you, you're going to find you are running up against a brick wall.  If you are forward thinking, which you can be, take each day as one where you can show them that life is different now, and you ARE present.

People are resilient, and especially your kids who adore you.  They have some idea of what's going on.  Be honest, and be the parent you want to be.  Baby steps... .

[corraline]

want2know

thank you