waiting lists and social anxiety

[questioncentral]

I haven't been on in over a week now. It's been a busy few weeks for school.

Anyway, my last post was that I had an appointment at the MH clinic.

I did go. (the old "change the tape" philosophy worked). It was a long and exhausting appointment, but I'm glad I went.

Outcomes - when I went for counselling a few years ago, I was told I have PTSD and Depression. PTSD has been taken out the mix - the girl I spoke to last week said it's more of a "repressed" mourning (that's how she put it) combined with Depression. So I'm on a waiting list for a bereavement group and on another waiting list for depression. I don't want to re-write all that I've said before but none of what she said surprised me.

Interesting to me. At some point I've developed a social anxiety disorder - developed or always tried to work against it. I've read the information she gave me, and I've been reading up on it elsewhere. Actually, it makes sense. Explains a lot to me about the successes and failures of a lifetime. Also explains why when I do become comfortable with people in my life, I miss them so much when they're gone. The mourning thing... .

[heartandwhole]

Hi questioncentral,

I'm so glad that your appointment went well, that you took that step.  The two programs you are signed up for sound interesting, and I hope you'll write more about your experiences.  It is wonderful when we find answers to questions that have been bugging us for a lifetime.

Waiting lists are a drag, do you have any idea when you might get in?

Keep up the good work, and keep us posted. 

[questioncentral]

Hi heartandwhole

The bereavement group starts in May - it's a 12 week program. It sounds interesting to me, and like something that will be helpful for me. The depression therapy will be one-on-one and I have no idea yet when that will start. I guess when there is an opening. There are only 2 therapists in this office and it's the only one close - so I'll wait... .

In the meantime, I'm reading everything I can find about SAD and APD. It seems that it's common to be avoidant and have depression with SAD - so this mixed cocktail isn't completely rare. Makes me feel somewhat better to know that. I can see why it can be depressing having SAD and being avoidant. It's not easy being a square peg in a round-holed world.

The more I'm reading and peeling the onion (so to speak) the more I have to wonder if it's so much about trying to morph into no longer having SAD and APD through CBT; or just radically accepting me for me and finding ways of working with what is. Looking for square holes, rather than whittling the person I am into a round peg, I guess.

[questioncentral]

2nd part.

I keep forgetting - this is the second time I forgot. And you might laugh because it might explain why I keep forgetting.

I have to see my doctor because I'm perimenopausal. And the reason I'm on the waiting list for the depression therapy is because they want my doctor to see if it's actually depression because of what's going on in my life or a shift in my hormone levels. Or a combination of all of it.

There, now I remembered