Struggling with suicide

[Ihope2]

Julie96, keep writing here.  This bpdfamily community is the best thing ever.  There is such a collective healing grace here.

Here you needn't feel alone with all your grief, troubles and loss.

[tired-of-it-all]

Julie,

There is nothing more maddening than taking care of someone with dementia.  I don't see how you stand it.  I guess you do what you have to do.

You have friends who support you here on this forum.  Keep in contact.

[Skip]

My ex-fiancé, significant other, best friend has BPD.  He also committed suicide a couple months ago.  Having a hard time trying to understand, move on, and deal with the loss.  Curious more or less if others have experienced same situation.

How are you doing?

[Hurricanes]

Holiday difficult time.  Anniversary was November 23rd for him and November 26th for me.  We celebrated both.   His birthday would have been on Halloween.  Some days easier then others, but one day at a time.  Thank you for reaching out. 

[Lucky Jim]

Hurricanes, I'm so sorry for your loss.  You, too, Julie96.

When I was a senior in college, my Aunt, who was like a second mother to me, committed suicide.  It was a devastating loss and caused a rift in my family that continues to this day.  She was the glue that held us together; without her, we drifted apart.  I'm making efforts to reconnect with family now, years after the tragedy.

Having experienced the reality of suicide firsthand, it was extremely upsetting for me when my BPDxW first began making suicide threats.  I was beside myself.  I called her therapist, I went to the local hospital for help and I reached out to her family.  Yet nothing was particularly effective because, like many w/BPD, my Ex refused to address her issues.  After 12-15 suicide threats, I came to see that they were basically cries for help -- the ultimate manipulation -- from a disordered mind.  You could say that they were the expressions of her turbulent emotional states.  Fortunately she never carried through with her threats, yet there was always a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that maybe this time she really meant it.  The stress was enormous.

After 16 years, our marriage failed and we have been divorced for a year and a half.  I still fear that someday she may act on her threats, as I know that a certain percentage of those who suffer from BPD will actually commit suicide.  So it's still a reality for me, as we have children together.

I empathize with all above who have been affected by the terrible effects of suicide, or threats of it.

LuckyJim

[Moselle]

Hurricanes.

Support and strength during the festive season

[Hurricanes]

Thank you for your thoughts and support.  This time of year has such memories and it is harder than I imagined that it would.  I hurt for someone who is in so much pain that they only feel that ending one's life is the answer.  They do not see how that one long term act for a short term problem can affect others that love them and would have done anything for them.  For someone that didn't think he had anyone in his life, had a banquet hall full of people mourning his loss in his memory... . 

[Julie96]

Hey Hurricane,  I didn't mean to kind of hijack your post as when I was getting replies to things I'd written I mistakenly thought it was a post I'd done from a few months ago. 

I totally agree that Christmas time is difficult to go through with what's happened to us both.  Nothing will make it easier, I just long for January again and getting through the next couple of weeks. 

I hope you get through it Ok too. 

Take care of yourself.

[downwhim]

My   goes out to you at this time. This place is where you should be to get the support needed.

[Hurricanes]

Thank you all.  Hard time of year.  Will be glad when the holidays are over.  Wish you all a Merry Christmas and best wishes into the new year.   

[CompGrief]

T

[Skip]

My partner of almost 3 yrs was also removing addict whom was relapsing on Xanax. We both were traveling to Sf and she I'm assuming was triggered by this trip as me abandoning her.

I'm a classic codependent whom fell into this dysfunctional relationship  clueless of this until after speaking to her former ex whom was a therapist tell me she was BPD after her accidental death last month. I'm having a hard time with guilt etc and if anyone here has gone thru something similar it would be great to share with me what has helped you deal with complicated grief.

Hi CompGrief,

We have a small group in this thread working with the loss of a loved every. How is it going? I see its about a year.