Hi nolongerhelpful,
I would like to welcome you. I'm sorry about the frustration, confusion, stress and difficulties that you and your family are going through with your son I would like to start by saying, please don't be hard on yourself for not knowing. We are not professionals here and cannot give you a diagnosis. Often, this disorder is difficult for others to see, much of what happens is behind closed doors, sometimes professionals may not see it as well. How are we supposed to know?
Your son deals with stress differently that you or I, and has certain triggers. It's up to us to change our ways, to be able to communicate and smooth the edges. Read as much as you can about BPD, learn to understand how he functions, you will quickly reap the benefits and become proficient over time.
When a child suffers from BPD (even our adult child), not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. A great place to start is with this set of resources:
What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the
Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better.
Video-What is Borderline Personality Disorder?Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD Family GuidelinesTOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and TruthStop Walking on EggshellsWe have many members here that have gone through what you have gone through. I would suggest posting on the board that I provided for parents, and I would also suggest posting on the legal board
Leaving Board: Family law, divorce and custody We are not legal experts, but we have senior members that have experience, and have come out of the other end of this. I hope that I did not inundate you with links. I understand what you mean when you say that you feel like you are burnt out, a pwBPD treat others around them like emotional vessels to discharge their emotional baggage on, it is truly difficult what you are going through, but please understand that there is hope.
Hang in there.
- Mutt