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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: BPD ex threatening suicide  (Read 469 times)
firefly_x

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« on: April 07, 2014, 09:08:42 AM »

This is leading on from my previous post on the 5th March here titled ‘help me understand’

My BPD ex who finished with me 5 weeks ago and was with another girl the day after we broke up, is still calling me saying she can’t cope anymore

That she is down every day and cant spend the rest of her life feeling like this.  She tried to speak to her new GF about this who told her to stop being a wuss and

To just suck it up! Understanding eh!

To cut a long story short, she has now said that she has met someone on a suicide forum and plans to meet up with them at the weekend and ‘do it’  what do I do? What can I do?

Both her and I agree she should be sectioned but here in the UK i don’t know how possible that even is.  I try and be understanding and try and validate her feelings.  I have helped her get help

And on medication … I don’t know what to do?

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Mutt
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Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2014, 09:21:48 AM »

still calling me saying she can’t cope anymore

To cut a long story short, she has now said that she has met someone on a suicide forum and plans to meet up with them at the weekend and ‘do it’  what do I do? What can I do?

This sounds like emotional blackmail.

I have helped her get help

And on medication … I don’t know what to do?

I would urge that you don't deal with this alone, and please let professionals handle it. You are in the UK, and I'm not sure what your emergency service numbers are. It's 911 in NA.

If they are threatening suicide and you are concerned that they are in danger, dial your local emergency services. Don't handle this on your own.

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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
firefly_x

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« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2014, 09:27:42 AM »

Sometimes I think it is emotional blackmail as she only does it to me - that I sometimes feel manipulated but why is she doing this if she has a new GF why cant she just leave me be? I think it is possible that it is because she knows she can count on me to be there or 2 she is trying to see how much of her s*** I can actually take before NC

I do think she will do it though, and I have tried many times to get further help but the professionals wont listen to me because she clams up and cant speak when sat in a room with them, she finds it hard to express her feelings.  Her Psychiatrist even said to me that sometimes BPD sufferers are better off NOT talking because it is too painful?  The emergency services would not help here I don't think and I wont know where she is in order to call them.

Does anyone know if you can voluntarily admit your self to a mental health hospital?
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Mutt
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« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2014, 10:01:09 AM »

The emergency services would not help here I don't think and I wont know where she is in order to call them.

I'm not clear on this and my apologies. If you call for an ambulance for someone threatening suicide they won't come? I'm not sure that I would worry about not knowing where she is, for one police can triangulate a person by their GPS on their cellphone. I know its difficult, but let them do their job, their qualified professionals, trained to deal with this.

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Aussie0zborn
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« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2014, 08:42:24 AM »

I've read this same post many times before and it was always written by different people. Call the police and get some professional help for her. You are not qualified to deal with this. If you feel sense of responsibility towards her and don't want to feel guilty if she actually does it, then you need to get her professional help.

The other people who posted this exact same post have never come back to say that they actually went through with it. So far it's been emotional blackmail.

One of my work colleagues used to leave work and run to her ex-husband who was threatening suicide. One day he picked a bad time and she surprisingly said, "just do it, dammit" and he never tried that stunt again and nor did he call again.
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