Of course I haven't ever tried these techniques so I don't know how I came to that conclusion - it's probably just a rationalization because of that fear again.
I remember thinking it was ridiculous too - you are not alone in feeling that way.
BUT, I got to the point where I was willing to try because what I was doing was not working. It is powerful and very freeing. It is nothing to FEAR - nothing worse happens than you feel now... . you are at the bottom and this can be a rope to help you up.
It's like you said - only with enough pain. The times I have let some anger or grief show has been during situations when I was being hurt very badly. Then the anger or grief starts to erupt out of me. It's almost like I have to be caught off guard by the pain before my rational mind can start stuffing the feelings for me to feel any release. So when I try to get in touch with them in a safe and controlled manner, I just can't get through the defenses that I've built around them.
It is a survival technique, very similar to what happens with pwBPD actually - the behavior looks different, but the coping style is similar to not feeling the feelings. Nothing wrong with it, but with enough stuffed emotions (emotion is energy in motion) we will blow one way or another.
Do you trust your T?
But the most frustrating truth is that I know that the only one keeping me from getting better is me.
That truth does not make it any less scary. Be kind to yourself.
Courage - doing something in the face of fear... . when have you been courageous before? Think about it, we spend our lives being courageous - you have the skill set to do this.