No one to talk to and need to vent the latest "cycle"

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It had been 7 months of being broken up and 5 weeks of absolutely no contact at all.  5 weeks ago I was threatened with a call to the police if I called her again.  So I cut off all contact for what I thought would be for good.

Then came the call last week.  "Come over".  And being the person that I am, I do as told and I go over. 

12 hours tucked away and then I'm told the next day "absolutely no contact.  I made a mistake in reaching out for you.  I missed you, but you have no idea how angry I am at you and how much you have hurt me". 

And now I'm back to what is seemingly square one again, in trying to pick up my own pieces.  The pieces of broken heart that I allowed her to break.  Instead of doing what she does to me, I instead am always Mr. Nice Guy and I am just to blame as she is.

Sadly enough, I'm writing away, trying to find the words to describe to her that I am not the root of every bad thing that has ever happened to her.  I am the person at the outer edges of the giant snowball. 

Thanks for listening... .  

[always possible]

It had been 7 months of being broken up and 5 weeks of absolutely no contact at all.  5 weeks ago I was threatened with a call to the police if I called her again.  So I cut off all contact for what I thought would be for good.

Then came the call last week.  "Come over".  And being the person that I am, I do as told and I go over. 

12 hours tucked away and then I'm told the next day "absolutely no contact.  I made a mistake in reaching out for you.  I missed you, but you have no idea how angry I am at you and how much you have hurt me". 

And now I'm back to what is seemingly square one again, in trying to pick up my own pieces.  The pieces of broken heart that I allowed her to break.  Instead of doing what she does to me, I instead am always Mr. Nice Guy and I am just to blame as she is.

Sadly enough, I'm writing away, trying to find the words to describe to her that I am not the root of every bad thing that has ever happened to her.  I am the person at the outer edges of the giant snowball. 

Thanks for listening... .  

[lemon flower]

Sadly enough, I'm writing away, trying to find the words to describe to her that I am not the root of every bad thing that has ever happened to her.  I am the person at the outer edges of the giant snowball. 

I like this "snowball", never looked at it that way 

there's no use in trying to find the words to describe or explain things to her, it won't change the way she thinks, you're speaking in different languages... .

use the words and the lines to put things clear to yourself, to ventilate and write your frustrations away,

here are people who listen and understand... .  

[always possible]

Thank u for the response. It helps to know that there are people who 'get it'.

[kfifd196]

Hi... . I had to look at who posted this, as it sounded like I would have written it!  I am the same Mr. Nice Guy, getting blamed for all of her past problems, when in reality, I'm the one getting screwed and left with a broken heart.  My wife is really convincing and had me believing I was the problem and even convinced me to go to a therapist, who said I had nothing wrong and "Why was I here"... . ... .   She would rage on me, then say, "You have no idea how much you've hurt me or I'm devestated and you have no idea how angry I am"... . She would say I HAD BAD BEHAVIOR and it would "Take ME years of therapy" to be normal, when looking back, I realize she was projecting on me... .

You are not alone... .

[BigInJapan]

Always Possible,

First, let me say I'm sorry to hear you're in a rough spot. Man, these emotions are real and they can HURT.

Now, I don't know the relationship to your previous SO (long-term gf, wife?), so take this with a grain of salt ... . but, dude, REJOICE.

Not in her pain and suffering ... . not in the hurt you feel ... . but in the OPPORTUNITY you have to feel better, get better, and move on with your life.

I'm trying to work it out in a relationship that has seen it all -- everything from violence to suicide scares -- and, if I'm honest, I suspect one of the reasons I stay (a major one?) is because I lack the stones to just get up and go.

You are in the driver's seat. Figure out your own issues first, and then trust and believe that there are PLENTY of gals out there who will be happy to get into a mutually supportive relationship with you.

Best of luck.

[always possible]

kfifd196 & BigInJapan:


Thanks for your replies. 

It's never easy going through these cycles (yes, after 5 weeks NO contact, she texted-I bit-and after twelve hours, she again told me "back to no contact; I made a mistake in reaching out for you".

I didn't have the stones either man, but they've grown from pebbles to small marbles.  I don't want to be permanently gone but at the same time, I know this will never work, so long as she refuses to deal with the deep seeded issues that have plagued her for so long.

I pray and pray.  And that's about all I can do right now.

Thanks guys