Just confused -- it does get better. I promise. Distance and NC helps tremendously -- right now, you need to focus on YOURSELF and heal.
You have been through the wringer. These men are abusive, manipulative, and certainly capable of making you wonder if you're the crazy one. (Believe me, I did!) A r/s with a pwBPD is traumatic and leaves us devastated. Let yourself feel the pain of the r/s ending, but always keep in mind that being away from him is the BEST thing you can do for yourself!
I'm so glad you're seeing a therapist, and enforcing no contact. Go easy on yourself; forgive yourself; and use this experience as a learning opportunity.
I've been in your exact shoes with a borderline male. They are often super aggressive, controlling, jealous, conniving and entitled. Most hate their mothers. I personally feel they treat women the way they wish they could treat mommy dearest.
Yes to all of this with my exBPDbf, except for the mother-hating part. (He had definite issues with her, but outright hate wasn't one of them.)