Ahh, I was searching for it, but couldn't find it... . Oh well... .
I remember taking it less than ten years ago, and I was something like INFP. I took this test honestly, and disagree with a few of the comments on some of my traits. It says, "not very affectionate" which is the opposite of what I am. The other traits fit.
Well, I think it does change over the course of your life as you get more rounded and exposed to new experiences - life changes us.
This might tie in with the fact... . and I've only come across one other member on this site who felt the same... . that I never remember feeling head over heals in love with my uBPDx. Our connection always seemed forced to me, and I didn't buy into the emotional immaturity she exhibited at first (why I kept persisting and chose to have children is for another thread). I attributed it more to she being almost 11 years younger. 6 years later, she's stuck at that junior high schoolish viewpoint on romance (even my T commented upon it when I read him some of the things she was writing to her boy toy). If she had pulled half of the immature stuff she is on her current attachment, I would have run. I just don't believe that stuff. Cynic or realist?
I was in love the "head over heels" way, but I did have the same feeling that you are describing. As if it was forced and one-sided. It turned out that it was. But, every time I brought it up, she'd ensure me that she is just "processing" and that everything is going fine and that it's mutual. I was blind, I guess... .
I hear ya. But, I don't think it's the age difference that matters in your case so much. It is probably the state of their emotional development. They simply stay at a certain level and that's it... . Unless they are cured. But, I don't know, mine was diagnosed and in treatment... . I could see some of the mindfulness stuff in play, but I frankly think it was confusing her more than helping. Our entire relationship, she'd write to me about something, first erratically, confused and worried. Then I don't respond for the lack of time. Then a couple of hours later, that she is just processing it all, and that I should take it the right way - that she's in it in the same way, just needs time to get used to things. I would usually miss these messages as I was busy working... . I think that would trigger abandonment fears in her that I wasn't responding. So, another couple of hours later, she'd write to me again saying that everything is fine and that was just her "complicating" things needlessly, and she feels the same. It was becoming a pattern, so I was just like "whatever." But it was
. So, as you see, I had enough of things before my eyes to feel it as forced as well... . I didn't know about her BPD at the time though. Just that she was visiting a counselor for advices on her family issues.
As for these types, I thought it was kind of off too, and they do clump a lot of the traits together. There's MBTI Step II that is more precise, but I am having trouble finding a practitioner that administers it. The whole thing is based on Jung's typology, and the guy knew human psyche to a T... . He himself said that it should be a starting point to understand yourself in the present, to understand others, and go from there - use it to identify areas where we need improvement. I'm INFP, the "healer" - that explains a lot of things in my life... .
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