I desperately need help

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Like you said above, she can't take that I get her more, but yet she tells me she's falling for him?

She just wants to hurt me.

[zenwexler]

Like you said above, she can't take that I get her more, but yet she tells me she's falling for him?

She just wants to hurt me.

[AimingforMastery]

Send her by mail a book(s) on borderlines, tell her to GET WELL in a letter & say NC unless you get well & are single.

Then you are clear & have honoured you, her & your connection.

Meantime find someone else healthy.

That way you have done your duty.

[zenwexler]

I just don't get it, she tells me she's falling in love with him yet she texts me all the time. It's so confusing and hurtful.

[AimingforMastery]

I restate my former advice.

Tell her she needs to get well, set your boundary and leave the stage.

[zenwexler]

Emelie I love you. That made me smile! I needed that considering I was crying all day today. Man enough to admit it!  She's twenty. She is a child. I know. She sucks me in!

I have done this so many times. But I read it takes roughly six times to finally pull away from an abusive/BPD partner. And here we go, this is my 6th time. Although I am doing this for real this time. I am going to need a ton of support. I am going to delete her from my facebook, remove her pictures. And block her number. She finally even admitted to me that she is mean to me. She claims she does it because she thinks I still have feelings for her so she gets defensive. Such BS. She also told me she's falling for her new guy. Oh yeah? then why are you texting me all the time!

It ends now. She doesn't know what love is, she won't for a very long time if ever. She doesn't know how to have a healthy and happy relationship. It's over. I tried, and I tried and I tried. I literally did everything for her. When she would attack me I absorbed it like a champ. She just pushed harder. She would try and paint me black, convince herself that I'm not good. I would just roll with it. Be sweet and nice, literally just killing her with kindess. It only made her more mean! She's the definition of crazy. The definition of walking on eggshells, the definition of I hate you don't leave me.

But I am leaving. I can't live like this anymore. It's time for me to listen to my friends, family, therapist, and you fine people. You all tell me she's crazy, abusive, not nice. You all tell me she will never change, that she's not happy and never will be, no matter who she's dating. You all tell me to get out while I still can.

Her crazy has made me feel crazy for too long.  And I worked to darn hard to become the man that I am today. I've been through way too much in this world. I have suffered a ton. And I will not be brought down any more. I won't let this girl, this 20 year old child who has no perception of reality make me feel like I am crazy. That I am worthless, unlovable, that it's my fault she treats me the way she does. Even when she admits to being mean to me. It does matter, even her self-awareness doesn't help her change. I'm not the hopeless one. I'm not the sick one, I'm not the crazy one, the abusive one. SHE IS. And it's time I step down of this roller coaster once and for all.

You're support, words of wisdom, and advice are always much much appreciated. Thank you all so much.

[AimingforMastery]

You are not crazy. Let that thought go.

There are literally millions of fish in the sea.

FEEL GOOD.

you have avoided tons of misery and at 20... . !  She will not be ready for a decade.

Move on, find someone GREAT. Let it go & TRUST

You are great. TRUST that :-)

[zenwexler]

I'm 25 And thank you. I hope you're right! And I really do have to let that thought go. I know I'm not crazy. I'm only crazy because I still chase her.

I admit I am scared to block her. Because I know she will try and reach out.

[AimingforMastery]

Well at 25 everything like this is hard, but seriously there are so many other healthy girls out there.

Go do some EMDR and look at your stuff.

BLOCK HER, RUN etc etc.   If she really loves you she will find a way to come get you. But she will not.

Borderlines have no sense of self so they have to fill up that emptiness with whatever is in front of them. It isn't personal, it has nothing to do with you in fact. It is an ILLNESS>> >

So RUN.

GET WELL YOURSELF

Find a winner, not a messed up person.

[zenwexler]

I'm going to try. It's already so hard. I officially blocked her on my phone. The next step is defriending her on Facebook. I'm scared to do this. I'm scared to keep her number blocked. I already think to myself what if she's trying to get in contact with me? But I'm also relieved because I know if my phone vibrates it can't be her. And I know as soon as I defriend her she'll try and text me. And I won't even see it. I never even said good bye this time.