Deleted my BPDexgf from FB - big relief

[Depression = 72% of members]

I had been having trouble fully detaching from my BPexgf since she broke up with me six months ago - in the sense that she remained as a 'friend' on Facebook. I had taken her off my newsfeed and very rarely looked at her profile, but couldn't summon the courage to delete her profile completely. Today I made that leap and it's a huge relief. I feel that that's the last physical thread connecting me to her and the pain she brought to me, and now I'll be able to start fully detaching.

The catalyst was (unintentionally) seeing a new profile picture of her with an ex she is now with. She broke his heart twice before she met me so I guess this is their second recycle. I knew that she had been seeing him for a couple of months, but it still made me feel a little sick in the stomach. I also knew that that was the risk of leaving her on my FB, but I guess that's what was needed to make that final step. I doubt she'll even notice that I'm gone from her list but that's not what counts. I'm proud of myself. It's my little victory. I look forward to good times ahead and trying to help other people who have gone through these kind of relationships.

Onwards and upwards.

Thank you for reading   

[david31]

I had been having trouble fully detaching from my BPexgf since she broke up with me six months ago - in the sense that she remained as a 'friend' on Facebook. I had taken her off my newsfeed and very rarely looked at her profile, but couldn't summon the courage to delete her profile completely. Today I made that leap and it's a huge relief. I feel that that's the last physical thread connecting me to her and the pain she brought to me, and now I'll be able to start fully detaching.

The catalyst was (unintentionally) seeing a new profile picture of her with an ex she is now with. She broke his heart twice before she met me so I guess this is their second recycle. I knew that she had been seeing him for a couple of months, but it still made me feel a little sick in the stomach. I also knew that that was the risk of leaving her on my FB, but I guess that's what was needed to make that final step. I doubt she'll even notice that I'm gone from her list but that's not what counts. I'm proud of myself. It's my little victory. I look forward to good times ahead and trying to help other people who have gone through these kind of relationships.

Onwards and upwards.

Thank you for reading   

[heartandwhole]

Hi david31,

It takes strength to let go, and you did what was right for you.  That is something to be proud of, for sure.    

Onwards and upwards.

What does this look like for you?

[david31]

Thanks heartandwhole

I think the most important thing for me is to get back the kind of independence, self-esteem and enthusiasm for life I've usually enjoyed. My self-esteem and view of what a healthy relationship should be definitely took a beating during my time with my BPDexgf. I have spent way more time than I would have liked over the past months - trying to keep my mind busy but falling into rumination about the relationship - attempting to make sense of it all.

I'm also hoping that I these recurrent thoughts about her and the failed relationship start to diminish more rapidly. I've been having good and bad days lately, so hopefully the good days will start outnumbering the bad.

I aim to start enjoying more of my personal pursuits, catching up with friends who I haven't seen in a long time, meeting new ones and at some stage starting a relationship with someone who I can have a healthier connection with.