Broken, friend saw her out with the guy who was going to do our house loan..

[Jb101]

She was apparently all over him... .

Explains a lot. So, so brutally hurt.

[tholian]

Hang in there man. Build yourself up and you will find someone right for you. She on the other hand, will keep going through these cycles and never find what she needs. She only seeks the thrill of the moment while we look for a lasting and healthy relationship. You need someone who will be there at your thoughest moment, not bolt away to another guy.

[BorisAcusio]

Well, they are always out there looking for a "better" caregiver while still with you.

[Popcorn71]

Well, they are always out there looking for a "better" caregiver while still with you.

The more I read of other people's experiences, the more this would appear to be true.

[Infared]

She was apparently all over him... .

Explains a lot. So, so brutally hurt.

I went thru that (a long time ago)... . my xBPD was in another r/s that I did not know about. She ran off a week before XMas and swore that there was no one else.  Most painful time in my entire life (I am almost 60yrs). I know that my make up had a part in why I was there and "ended up" that way. Your pain is real and has to do with her and you. Please seek out all support lines. Therapy, self-help groups, etc. Coming here is good too. I had to (and still have to), talk about the situation to people who actually understand... . it helps to have a sounding board of sensitive people ... . part of a healthy healing process... . just remember to love yourself and trust that you can heal and learn from this situation that you are currently in... .

[Mutt]

She was apparently all over him... .

Explains a lot. So, so brutally hurt.

I'm so sorry Jb101, that's painful. I know that hurt. I consciously made the decision to tell family and friends that I do not want them to relay any information about myself, or if they spotted ex in public with the new partner. Hearing about the ex triggered emotions in me, I was in pain, I needed space to heal on my own. Hang in there.

[tired-of-it-all]

Mutt,

That is excellent advice.  There is no advantage to knowing the details of someone's life that is no longer a part of mine.  It can only bring pain or, worse than that, rekindle my interest.

[cosmonaut]

I agree that telling your friends and family that you don't want any updates on your ex is a very good idea.  It is only going to cause you further pain and suffering, and you have been through enough already, haven't you?  Tell them that they need to let you heal and if they care about you, then please don't mention her to you again until you have healed.

[Banshee]

I agree that telling your friends and family that you don't want any updates on your ex is a very good idea.

 

This is wonderful advice just yesterday I talked to my best friends and said not to tell me anything they see or hear... Friends think they are helping by keeping you in the loop but it actually keeps you in turmoil.