Those here... understand

[Cimbaruns]

I am ever so grateful for all of those who post here.

I come to read and take away from this forum many feelings of hope... .

I truly believe in my heart ... . that without this board I would be so lost...

Being in a r/s with someone with BPD is so very different than anything that I have ever known. Being out of a r/s ship is equally the same... . extremely different and emotionally devastating!

I have visited these boards over the course of many months... . posted as a "newbie"... . Hung around on the staying board... . and a few times ... . through major breakups... . talked of leaving... . and here I am once again... . only this time for the final chapter so to speak...

I truly feel that NO ONE truly gets the dynamics of a r/s such as this... . NO ONE... . except for those of us here.

My first T was absolutely amazing and wonderful as I struggled through what I thought was my final break up over a year ago... . she helped me as I spiraled downward... . sobbed... . questioned and tried to deal with all of the trauma that it caused... . I started to work my way through it all... . but ALAS... . as many here will understand... . I left the door cracked ... . and I allowed my ex back in... . and I thought I could do it all again... .

I was so so wrong... . I guess I wasn't really ready to deal with all of my own issues... . or most importantly ... . peel away the layers and to see my true self!

My T retired last year and since then it's been a struggle to find someone as understanding and versed in BPD and it's been difficult... .

Quite frankly ... . being here is so very comforting and helpful for me... .

Sorry for the rambling... . but my point... .

No one... . none of my friends... . family... . co workers understand how truly difficult this is... .

I'm going through ... . by far... . the most difficult time of my life... . I am so very thankful for each and every one of you... . you truly are all a blessing... .

Thank you thank you ... . all of you

[tango1492]

Hugs and best wishes to you!

[Mutt]

No one... . none of my friends... . family... . co workers understand how truly difficult this is... .

I'm going through ... . by far... . the most difficult time of my life... . I am so very thankful for each and every one of you... . you truly are all a blessing... .

Thank you thank you ... . all of you

I would like to say thank you as well, Cimbaruns 

[Pecator]

I am so with you Cim

I have a sister who is close in age. We have been so close ever since my mom used to sew boy/girl outfits with the same theme (sailors, Disney et al.). We dragged each other out of the depth to many times to count. She doesn't get this!

I have a best friend whom I met 35 years ago in early adolescence. We are still one and the same, even though or political differences have polarized. He is still the one person that I can count on. He doesn't get it.

I have struggled through so much in my life. I have always been proud of how hard I have worked to become emotionally aware (I have always view therapy as important as brushing my teeth). But the most distinctive comment I ever read humbled my reaction to encountering BPD. It is probably the best testament to how powerful our experiences are.

I read a comment that said (I am paraphrasing), "Ten years ago, my son son died at age 15. I worked so hard to heal thinking that nothing could hurt me more. Then I found myself in a relationship with a pwBPD."

People here know. They get it. Thank God I found this place

[trappedinlove]

Thanks for sharing dear 

I share your feelings about the wonderful people on this board.

You are doing a tremendous job.

I am fortunate to have a very close friend (exgf btw) who is a therapist that treated several BPD's on her job and she understands my to the fullest and be there for me whenever I need a good advice or a shoulder to cry on.

Others really just don't get it. It seems incomprehensible to someone who hasn't been there.

Take care.

TIL

[Emelie Emelie]

I'm enormously grateful for this family too.  You're right.  People don't get it.  They can't begin to understand.  It's all:  He's an a$$hole (and they don't know the half of it), you have so much going for you and deserve so much better than this, what the hell is wrong with you that you're so upset by this.  Good riddance and get over it. 

If only it were that easy.

[Mutt]

They don't understand because they see a different person than what we see behind closed doors. When you explain what is going on, they don't see the other side of that person. They use context or give advice that would apply in a logical situation, everyone that I have known meant well. They were trying to be as helpful as they could. It's frustrating to us, but it's also not up to me to explain her behaviors to my family and friends either.

[froggy]

I have a girlfriend who is also married to a pwBPD... . she doesn't even get it.

Her husband is wafe/hermit. ... no raging... no screaming... she can actually have conversations with him... he apologizes.

He is more pasive aggressive. .not just plain aggressive.

My sister is also married to a pwBPD... . she understands ... . but trying to explain to my friend what it's like living with the raging type... . and throw in alcoholic with mine... . she just doesn't understand.

It's always nice to know your not alone... . and your not crazy.

[Time4me]

I haven't posted much but have been reading these boards for almost 2 years now. I feel compelled to comment on this. I am in the middle of a divorce to my DBPDH.  We were married 27 years.  He was diagnosed 2 years ago.  I have found the same thing happening to me.  People can not begin to understand the complexities of this disorder.  It is truly  frustrating and annoying.  I have one close girlfriend who's sister is BPD and she is the only one who can begin understand what I am going thru and the depth of my despair.  I am extreamly greatful to all those who have posted and will continue to post.  It validates my experience. This board has been a life saver to me.  When things started going south I came to the leaving board.  I gained so much knowledge and insight on what to expect in this process, the recycling and all that comes with it. This is a very special community of people with much insight and empathy. I wish all who come to this board relief from the sorrows that they are experiencing.  Thank you for validating mine.