Lack of constancy

[AimingforMastery]

Is this a familiar them to all BPD's?

My gf would flit from being madly loving one day to saying horrid things the next. Will you be my life partner to it's over. All within 24 or 48 hours. The number of times this happened... .

Is this a key aspect of BPD?

[BlackHoleSun]

In my experience - yes it is!

My ex GF got to the point where she could switch in a matter of minutes. She'd phone and i'd never know what i was going to get. 8pm she could seem normal, very loving... . then at 8:30, phone me back and be full of hate and say the most horrible things, blaming me for all the wrongs in the world. Sometimes she would REALLY lose it and rage away at me for ages. Then the next day she would act like it never even happened. INSANE!

The last time i saw her, she was really loving, she looked into my eyes and told me she loved me, everything seemed ok. Within a matter of hours she phoned me up and said "its over" and blamed everything on me. She continued phoning me playing mind games, that became increasingly sadistic, even after we'd split up. She'd swing from being caring to spiteful at the drop of a hat. It became clear she was purposefully manipulative and half of these "switches" were planned.

All they really want to do is to be able to have total control over you, maybe because they have no control over themselves and their lives. I now swear that when they ask you "do you really love me?", they actually mean - "tell me that i still control you". I honestly don't think my ex even knows what love is. Its very, very sad.

[AimingforMastery]

Then the next day she would act like it never even happened. INSANE!

... . All they really want to do is to be able to have total control over you, maybe because they have no control over themselves and their lives. I now swear that when they ask you "do you really love me?", they actually mean - "tell me that i still control you". I honestly don't think my ex even knows what love is. Its very, very sad.

These two points are very true. First one - it never happened... . Meanwhile you are struggling to sleep, feeling like you are on egg shells etc etc and then in the morning they say what are you upset about?

Second point, I think the control is so that they wont feel abandoned. That is probably the tap root of BPD along with no sense of self.

[lemon flower]

I noticed this inconstancy in almost all aspects of my BP's behaviour, not only on the emotional things like love and hate for his friends, family and myself,

but also in many other subjects like what he wants to do with his life (yesterday he thought he would like to become a psychiatric nurse (!) but by evening time he was talking of building a treehome and keep goats  , last week he wanted to start a business with his brother, last month he definitely wanted to return to school, etc... . )

unfortunately in the end he doesn't do anything apart from drinking, blowing and playing computergames... .