BPD ex was in a bad accident and I didn't care

[letmeout]

Wow, I think I am truly and completely detached from my BPDex. He was in a bad accident but he will survive with no lasting affects.

What surprised me was when our son told me about it, I didn't feel anything!

No worry, nor sorrow or any concern at all.  I mean, I was married to him for 35 years so you think I would have felt something!

So I asked my counselor about that today and she said my reaction was perfectly normal. After all, he did heap a lot of abuse on me and our family, totally ripped me off in the divorce and is still on an epic smear campaign against me.  She said it has really helped that I have been able to maintain no contact.  After all of that, its perfectly natural that I would not care one way or the other about him.

And there I thought I was turning into a cold hearted biatch or something!

After she explained it, I don't feel so bad about feeling bad that I didn't feel bad.

Has anyone else detached this much from their ex?

[goldylamont]

yeah, really i don't care what happens to my BPDex. all my other exes i'd feel terrible if something happened to them. BPDex, i don't know. i think it would affect me if she died, that would be sad but still not like i was losing a friend. but really i wouldn't really care about accidents or anything. i don't think you're being cold. your (non)reaction sounds like healthy detachment to me.