Can someone help me to understand

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am struggling today big time. The end of my relationship with my dBPDgf is so raw. I guess I'm in the bargaining stage. I've been in the angry stage for awhile now but today I'm in the what if stage? My questions are:  why couldn't she see that I was loving her the best I could and why did she blame me for things that happened two years ago? I am just really confused today and hurting.

[WhoMe51]

I am struggling today big time. The end of my relationship with my dBPDgf is so raw. I guess I'm in the bargaining stage. I've been in the angry stage for awhile now but today I'm in the what if stage? My questions are:  why couldn't she see that I was loving her the best I could and why did she blame me for things that happened two years ago? I am just really confused today and hurting.

[arjay]

Yeah I get the "feeling raw" deal.  I had periods where I felt "completely and utterly empty inside".

"Why couldn't they just see we were trying to love them" were also the words that haunted me over and over.  It wasn't until counseling and coming here that I found many of the answers I was seeking.  

You might check out Surviving A Breakup From A Borderline .  It helped me immensely in not only general understanding, but towards my own desire to regain my own life and happiness.

Peace

[corraline]

whome51

I posted something similar a while ago.  I just could not understand why ?  I could not understand even why i was asking this if i knew he was not well . Another poster responded and i think her message was that I was in my head and not allowing myself to feel the hurt.  I don't like feeling hurt, it just sucks. Its so uncomfortable .  I had to hold myself lovingly by the hand and let myself feel the pain.  I have found when i do this, i can ride it like a wave and i eventually come out the other side.

[WhoMe51]

I guess I'm struggling today because we had bought tickets to an event months ago during one of our recycles. We booked the room in her name and she has the tickets. And since we aren't together I sit here and wonder who is going with her. I don't know what to do with the plans and dreams we shared.

[arjay]

I don't know what to do with the plans and dreams we shared.

I heard somebody say with these types of break-ups are emotions are left "homeless" and when I thought about it, it resonated with me.

We put so much of our emotions into the relationship that we almost don't know what to do when we are left with them in the "quiet of our mind".

Every relationship ending is tough.  What we all went through with our BPD SO, however just makes closure and moving on even more difficult.

Keep posting and sharing my friend.  It really helps.

Peace to you.

[corraline]

the hopes and the dreams ,

yah, thats difficult... . trying to find a place to put them. it's so difficult when you think you are building on these things together with the other and they lead you to think that you are... to have it all taken away with that person feels very empty and painful.  people say you can have them and share it with another with a healthier person but you have to accept that it was never going to be with your ex.  that's the hard part. accepting.  :'(