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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Feel like contacting her today.  (Read 431 times)
Jb101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 100


« on: June 01, 2014, 02:56:30 AM »

Part of me knows more pain would come of it.

Last wee she sent me a message in the middle of the night saying "I'll meet you in the morning in the city" (was a bit more, but basically to somebody else in another city) and a few minutes later another saying sorry, wrong person. We haven't spoken for weeks and there is no way it was an accident or I could be anywhere near the list of recent contacts for it to get confused etc. replied the next day say ok, take care. No response. I was starting to do so much better until that. Now the weekend has been wondering what she's up to now, particularly after seeing her drive past at the shops...
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Infared
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1763


« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2014, 03:33:25 AM »

Sounds like she is baiting you.  "Oh, it was an accident?" Yeah right. Then there is no responsibility on her part. "Whoops"... . then if you contact her, the contact is all on your emotional dime because "you contacted her on purpose". Then eventually the abuse starts... . and you end up in a whole world of pain, just because the self-centered 5-year-old wanted to know if you still wanted her (oh, she didn't want you!).

If this sounds familiar, leave your phone at home today and take a nice long walk or bike ride to a beautiful new place and take care of you.
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LoveLove
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 95


« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2014, 01:30:03 PM »

Agreed - she just wanted to see if you're "still there." Don't think more about it... . remember, they have a mental disorder. It isn't "normal" behavior.
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Indigo Sky
******
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: End of March 2013 she tried to have me charged with assault so she could benefit from it financially and then have me deported. Just about everyone has told me if I go back to her city most likely I will run into personal danger.
Posts: 848


« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2014, 07:32:17 PM »

Stay No Contact.

The only way to win (and have a great life) is not to play.

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JackBlacknBlue
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 70


« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2014, 09:05:56 PM »

My uBPD friend did same thing with me.  Claimed she sent text to wrong person.  Don't give in to the temptation.  Delete message.  Forget it even happened.  It is a baiting message.
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corraline
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 782



« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2014, 10:09:33 PM »

jb

that must have been hard . I use to get things sent to me that weren't meant for me in the past. sent my mind crazy.

i would focus on your first statement and listen to that. 

"part of me knows more pain would come of it"

if you know this even if its just a part of you, then i would do my best to gather what strength you have to make sure that you don't inflict more pain again.  taking care of yourself.
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