When is enough... enough.

[node4]

I have been NC for almost 7 months. All during which my ex has not directly contacted me but has contacted my daughter (against my wishes), maintained a relationship with my sister and stepmother (both toxic) sister is a raging BPD.

My ex has pranked called my house, blocked and unblocked my her facebook account 20 times, and has created fake profiles that are very elaborately done, sent me friend requests from those profiles, and tried following my pages. Cyber stalking me.

Well about a week ago, my sister asked my ex to come and stay with her, and my dad / family for the weekend. It was a huge blow to me. I am have cut all ties with my family at this point. She has played the victim to them from day one.

During the exchange they were bad mouthing me on facebook, my friends, and my daughter saw it, I have blocked my ex, and I am not friends with my sister, but my sister and I have tons of mutual friends on facebook.


I am over my ex, I want nothing to do with her, however after 7 months she is still pursing me, and trying to trigger me. I want point do I say enough is enough and perform legal action against her. It really is pathetic to me at this point. I haven't engaged talked to her or anything and she is pursuing my family, and my daughter... . it is making me angry I want her to go away.WTH? She is in a different state and is still doing this... .

What am I supposed to do, when I have ignored them, and it is not stopping them... . ?

Please Advise.

[Forestaken]

My S24 is a psyc major and loves Robert Greene, (My X, his momster: uBPD+dOCD), handles his momster with something call the strategy of the void.  BPDs are often looking for engagement, any kind of engagement.

Ignore it. It's tough but effective in the long run.

[WalrusGumboot]

Forestaken is right on. Ignore her. She will eventually tire of her game.

[BorisAcusio]

My S24 is a psyc major and loves Robert Greene, (My X, his momster: uBPD+dOCD), handles his momster with something call the strategy of the void.  BPDs are often looking for engagement, any kind of engagement.

Ignore it. It's tough but effective in the long run.

While taking out the reward from the equation is the most effective way, she managed to somehow bypass this by engaging with his family. Eventually she's going to find a new object to idealize. Until then, hang on and keep NC.

[MustangMan]

Go for the legal action.  I was under the same situation and I got an order from the court for her not to contact me in any way.   She broke her order a few times, but after a few visit tojail she stopped harrassing me after 1 year and a half.   Don't hesitate to use the justice system, even if it adds to your pain and misery, I can testify that it works.  Best of luck and take good care of yourself.

[node4]

Thank you for all of the thoughtful advice.

I am going to think about it for a few more days. I am not reacting to it nearly as bad as I once did. I normally would have called her about 20 times about this crap, but I must admit, I never expected this from her. She has entered the creepy zone with me.

The FB account, it took her hours to create it, and to friend over 100 people, to make it more believable, I ignored it, but posted a public keep up the good work, goodbye, then she created a google + plus profile, and followed people that had the same sounding name as mine, then acted like she was from a foreign country, while explaining everything that she was doing in her life, that I had known about already because of my family, volunteering information about her whether I wanted it or not... . it was pretty weird. Let that go, then she starts up again.

I never expected this level of acting up, it's pretty scary, and what kills me is that she threw me and us away, and somehow it's my fault that the path she has chosen has not worked out for her... . I am supposed to want to talk to her after she threw me away like garbage and never looked back... . I somehow owe her, and in her mind she is that special, or important, during the FOG maybe, but now... . get bent.

I am not the same person I was before, I love the new version of me, and this version wants no part of that... . no where for it to go, who wants to be used and abused, made to feel like crap, and blamed for every problem in someones life... . not me... .

It's crazy to me, and I am really used to crazy at this point... . it just gets worse... .

Never ceases to amaze me... . in all of the wrong ways. I had no idea how much mental illness was in my life before this experience but now I see the light.

[Split black]

I would almost enjoy having her beg me back... . it took about 5 or 6 attempts on her part contacting me via texts ( after she about ruined my life via an on going smear campaign) asking if Im ok, and that she had some business deal ... . to please call etc.  I BROKE NC again last Friday,and received an onslaught of 27 texts... . all negative... . denying everything, calling me a monster, saying she hated me, "I am a grimy liar that lied and manipulated her duh "... . exactly what she said... . and was "ruining my name where ever she could" etc etc etc ad nauseam.  I did unfortunately respond perhaps 6 times to her 27... . trying to reason with her, sucked right back into that abyss, but at least I didnt tell her a thing about how I felt... .  it was just a total blame shifting, projecting, onslaught of what she did to me... . re-writing history as if I did something to her... . yeah, treated her like a princess... . and my crime was to bust her banging another guy... . twice.

I would just ignore her bro.... . you're 7 months out. Shes a one person wrecking crew... . like mine. Cant wait till Im 7 months out. Its only 31/2 months for me... . and the girl Im dating is on vacation across the country for two weeks... . we are mutually distracting each other from dysfunctional involvements that crashed and burned at the same time. Hers was BPD as well... but as a result I have found that my ex has crawled back into my head after last weeks episode. Its bugging me out  

[Mutt]

What am I supposed to do, when I have ignored them, and it is not stopping them... . ?

If she is harrassing you call your local police. I chose to deactivate my Facebook account while I was going through the early parts of seperation so that she could not get personal information about me or creep me on the internet and I didn't want her friends and family to have information either to forward to her. I deactivated it for several months.

You are going through a distortion campaign. It will die down, your family is taking her side in the matter? I'm sorry. You can control your actions and not someone else actions, the distortions and projections belong to your ex and not to you. It is difficult but I would ignore her pleas to your family. The truth has a way of coming out.

[MustangMan]

Yeah, you should de-activate your FB account and change your cell number, home number, work number, email address.  I know its painful and you end up doing all the job to achieve NC, but it is truly rewarding.   My exBPD had contacted my new GF on FB to tell her all kind of lies about me.  I had just met my new GF and my exBPD was trying to destroy my new life.   So I filed a complain for harrassment at the police station and change all my contact info.  The only thing I couldn't do was to move before the end of my lease and my exBPD came a few times to ring at my door.  One day I called the police and they caught her breaking her promise not to contact me and she spend the weekend in jail.  You have to be consistent and strong to achieve true NC.  Best of luck