Two things I inherited from uBPD'd parent, turned into positives I think...

[Our abuse recovery guide]

One was my maternal grandmother's diamond. It had been promised to me by my uBPD'd mother for years, but we know how those promises hold up or bite us if we actually expect it or mention it. Had it remounted in a really gorgeous Edwardian setting for my son's wife and then their little boy may use it many years from now if he'd like - it would be his gr-gr-grandmother's, when he meets his future mate. That was a nice place for this stone to land, as it was mired in both my grandmother's and mother's stuff for so long.

Secondly, a vase, an art pottery piece, one of two, and I risked contacting one of the Antique Roadshow gentlemen from Cincinnati who is an expert.  He runs an  auction each year and he actually met me in a big city near here to look at it and a damaged "twin" that needed tons of repair to the top of it. He was delightful to chat with, on his long trek to collect pieces for the sale. We've emailed back and forth about dogs and gardens and his wife's teaching at a uni there. He has an expert repairer who will make 2nd vase worthy as well. Vase 1 actually sold for a hefty sum - I will lose a good 28% of it to taxes, but that's fine. I am taking that money and using some portion of it to go to the beach. I haven't been to a beach, something on an ocean in maybe 20 years?

Waves crashing on a beach, the stormier the better, has always been a sound I love. I think I could live on the shore all year.

Anyway, just a fitting end for family things that are simply objects but can carry alot of emotional energy inside of them for us. I feel like I closed a chapter doing what I needed to do with these items. Not having anyone criticize my decisions. It felt empowering. 

[lucyhoneychurch]

One was my maternal grandmother's diamond. It had been promised to me by my uBPD'd mother for years, but we know how those promises hold up or bite us if we actually expect it or mention it. Had it remounted in a really gorgeous Edwardian setting for my son's wife and then their little boy may use it many years from now if he'd like - it would be his gr-gr-grandmother's, when he meets his future mate. That was a nice place for this stone to land, as it was mired in both my grandmother's and mother's stuff for so long.

Secondly, a vase, an art pottery piece, one of two, and I risked contacting one of the Antique Roadshow gentlemen from Cincinnati who is an expert.  He runs an  auction each year and he actually met me in a big city near here to look at it and a damaged "twin" that needed tons of repair to the top of it. He was delightful to chat with, on his long trek to collect pieces for the sale. We've emailed back and forth about dogs and gardens and his wife's teaching at a uni there. He has an expert repairer who will make 2nd vase worthy as well. Vase 1 actually sold for a hefty sum - I will lose a good 28% of it to taxes, but that's fine. I am taking that money and using some portion of it to go to the beach. I haven't been to a beach, something on an ocean in maybe 20 years?

Waves crashing on a beach, the stormier the better, has always been a sound I love. I think I could live on the shore all year.

Anyway, just a fitting end for family things that are simply objects but can carry alot of emotional energy inside of them for us. I feel like I closed a chapter doing what I needed to do with these items. Not having anyone criticize my decisions. It felt empowering. 

[P.F.Change]

I feel like I closed a chapter doing what I needed to do with these items. Not having anyone criticize my decisions. It felt empowering. 

That sounds good, lucyhoneychurch. Was this a big step for you, doing things your way? How do you think it relates to your work in the Survivor's Guide?

Wishing you peace,

PF

[lucyhoneychurch]

well word for word, PF, it'd be 13, "live the way I want to live."  neither of these things held personal pleasant memories for me. The idea that my grandson might one day be able to propose with an old family diamond put a smile on my face. Or maybe he'll think it's crap and give it to a sibling or cousin I don't know. The cool part being it's out of my realm of control that far down the road.   

the money from the vase is giving me a break from estimated taxes and stuff. Even though I have to pay estimated taxes on it with capital gains.

The next big deal for me is going to be this house. I am not able to cut my grass the way I usually can. Paying a very very nice man to do so but eating into my funds! Worked too hard on yard all these years to let it go to jungle, house is in an okay state to sell. Again, my decision I am only creature living here at the moment.

Scary to be alone with it but freeing. I don't have to report my reasons to anyone. I think I need a change of scenery more than a predictable roof over my head for a while.

Thank you for asking.