Chapter8
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 13
|
 |
« on: June 19, 2014, 06:32:45 AM » |
|
He doesn't believe in me, to do the right thing, wear the right thing, say the right thing, make my own life choices!
He is terrified of my friends and family because of their life choices - their life choices at the moment are shambolic and disapproving, however, he seems to think that its ok and normal to tell these people the way their living is wrong! No, thats not right - all they need to know is how we want to live, that we don't want their stuff in our lives, we don't even want to hear about it because it sets him off and I totally understand that as to why he doesn't want it in our life - just to make you aware my friends and family seem to be screwing each other over, my sister is getting in debt behind her husbands back, my friends are knocking about with idiots with no morals and to top it off i actually come from that background, not that I agreed with cheaters and no morals (believe me I have them, firmly set in) but that was my culture, my town, the people that I only ever knew so therefore me introducing it into our lives makes him doubt me so much!.
being with my man, lets me get away from that, start a new life, be what I wanted to be, an amazing wife and fantastic mother, eventually! But without those people polluting our lives, why can't people be straight with each other, if I don't like what someone said or what their doing, then I wouldn't tell them, i don't like confrontation, or to be judging and at the end of the day, they don't influence my life with my partner, as i live for him and me, for us!
Its just been a long old week, 5 days of the same things he keeps saying, I just want him to come back to me now and stop living in the fear and anticipation of how we manage these relationships!
It is down to me, I can't and won't have him offending my friends and family, it needs to be constructive and beneficially for us - and more than anything they need to be able to accept my new life and new views on what we want and what we don't want in our lives!
Basically if I bring these people into our lives with their ___ still in it, then he will end this relationship! I can understand the chaos it causes him!
He has been a rouge, done the same things as these people, but has fought to get away from it with all his might, I know how hard that is, I had to leave the country to get away from friends and family and my home town to understand an feel honest with myself for doing that, as I made that choice, I wasn't influenced over it one bit, in fact most people wanted me to stay, looking back these are people I don't really want in my life!
How can I meet good people, God? Church? Volunterring? How do you make your friends and family safe from us without hurting them or loosing them or them feeling as if 'we better than them'?
Im going to have to ponder on that one, I have neglected a lot, my diary, my reading, my note taking!
Does anyone have the same problems? Have you made rubbish choices in your life before BPD came into yours but always get punished for something that doesn't effect you the same way it effects the BPD although I agree almost to the same degree!
|
