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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: shes using old pics for FB pic  (Read 458 times)
Blimblam
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: June 24, 2014, 06:49:44 PM »

I just need to vent Im having some bad anxiety.

My ex changed her FB pic to a pic from when me and her were in a relationship... . I guess that means shes in a new relationship with someone.

Its so sick that she would recycle old pics like that!

man I am recognizing the pattern.  

It just goes to show how as a reward object we are interchangeable.  As an individual we mean nothing to them.

so twisted but I guess that's the disorder... .

At least I am beginning to understand it now!

masks... . who will give her this mask now... . Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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Arminius
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2014, 08:00:04 PM »

Stop looking! Block, delete, whatever. Seriously, it's the only way.
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Mutt
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2014, 11:14:42 PM »

Stop looking! Block, delete, whatever. Seriously, it's the only way.

Hi Blimblam,

You are triggered and feeling anxiety over social media. I'd recommend deactivating social networking if you have the inclination of peeking. I went offline for 8 months and sent messages to my close contacts of what was going on. I gave them my personal email and cellphone if they had to get in touch with me. It just helped me with the healing process in the beginning. On the flip side some use FB to stay connect with family to upload photos of kids etc. I just emailed photos of the kids for the people that use Facebook as a primary way of communicating. There was still modern communication pre-Facebook Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)
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"Let go or be dragged" -Zen proverb
enlighten me
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« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2014, 12:02:54 AM »

I wish I could block her on facebook but unfortunately its the only way I have of communicating with her about my son that I can be sure she has received the message.

In a weird twisted almost stalker like way it has helped having her on there. I was even able to predict when she was going to break N/C and be ready for it.

I watched as her posts popped up more frequently after our split. How great this was and how wonderful that was and all the likes of her FB friends. Then after a while the likes dwindled until she wasn't getting any as people were getting bored with it. Sadly I laughed to myself knowing that she would see this as rejection and then predicted to the day when she would break N/C just to get acknowledged. As we have a son together she used him as the reason for messaging so I kept it brief and civil with a thank you for letting me know about him. Give him a kiss from me and tell him his daddy loves him and left it at that. Obviously not the response she was after as she didn't reply but I get the feeling that it will only be a day or two before she does. One other interesting thing I have noticed is how she has reconnected with her ex husbands family. These are people she spent the whole time slating as a bunch of hypochondriacs and wasters. Obviously trying to recycle her ex. What I find odd about it is that they let her. After doing what she did to him I would have thought that they would want nothing to do with her.

I just remind myself that its her public mask that's on there and as wonderful as that person seems I know the real her.

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trappedinlove
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2014, 02:46:37 AM »

I changed my password to a random one and only logged in on my fb messenger account so I'm off of fb but able to communicate over fb messenger since people are contacting me this way.  It's feels really good as I was constantly triggered and obsessive about her new life.

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