My poor Granddaughter

[manicmuse]

Yesterday my GD turned white broke out on a cold sweat and passed out cold. I called 911. The hospital thinks it's her sugar she was a little dehydrated but prob not enough to cause ablack out. NOW MY RANT.

I'm so angry at my BPDD  you see the child is 10 a large 10 people think she's 14. She's been through so much she acts older.

She has had a problem with having accidents going to the bathroom in her pants. Has never stoped. Her paternal grandfmother has juvinille diabetes and at 7 she started gaining weight. I my BPD and her hubby beat and belittled her fir her incontenence. I'm not just talking about bedtime it can happen anytime. You tell me what preteen girl WANTS that to happen?

I kept telling her that and that she needed to be tested.

Now that she's equating the urination with the intake if fluids she thinks the answer is to limit the fluids.

This poor little girl.  My heart is breaking fir them every day. She's the sweetest girl and she keeps saying she doesn't want to be a bother. How do I convince her of her worth ?

I already had set an appt with her dr Monday I will find out what's wrong and help her end this. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Being Mindful]

Oh dear manicmuse. I'm so glad you have set up an appointment for her. This has got to be a very difficult problem for a pre-teen. One thing you might want to bring up to the doctor is the stress and chaos she is under. Wetting pants can be symptomatic of trauma. Sometimes kids stop talking, sometimes they wet their pants. She is not trying to this, it just happens. Is she in therapy?

[pessim-optimist]

Oh, poor little girl, what a trauma, I can imagine... .

Do you think this is a medical issue? If there is diabetes in the family, that's something to watch for; also, it can be a bladder/kidney issue. I am sure the doctors will figure it out.

Have you been able to talk with her about this? It must be such a source of shame for her... .If she understands, that she has your compassion and support, she might open up about it and you may be able to start solving the practical ins and outs of this.

I think that her not 'wanting to be a bother' is a bigger issue that can be solved little by little. First, I am sure you are giving her reassurance. But as time goes on, and you give her consistent compassionate and loving attention, she might start to understand that she matters, and her self-worth might slowly mend... .

[manicmuse]

Yes I tell her if it happens well just clean up and not worry wile we go to Drs to figure it all out. I also said its not her fault sometimes there's just a physical problem but we can find and fix it for her. She says she never feels it coming it's like all of a sudden she has an urgent need to go. They told me to get her a watch and tell her to go every 3 hrs to sit on the toilet. It may help.

[HealingSpirit]

Dear Manicmuse,

Thank goodness you're there to be the shining light of support for your poor GD!  She is so lucky she has you to help her through this.  The pants wetting does sound really difficult to solve because it could be caused by emotional and/or physical issues.  Thank goodness you got her the medical help she needs!

I think giving her a watch with a timer sounds like a great idea to help her learn to manage the problem!  I wonder if she could also discreetly wear Poise pads (if she isn't already using them) so she doesn't have to suffer the public shame of wet pants in front of everyone.  My m-I-l used to wear them, and they do a good job of catching those sudden, uncontrollable bladder bursts.

Let us know what the doctors say.  And we're always here to listen!

Hang in there!

[manicmuse]

I had her to CHOP yesterday the Drs are also Pediatric Psychiatrists. We are going to try to retrain her bladder wile we first address the issue of her passing out when her heart rate gets up. She loved the Dr so that was a big plus. She doesn't trust most people.

Now today Granddaughter 2 has her first appointment with them. She was born with a murmur  and was supposed to see Deborah heart center yearly that wasn't done so I need to get her checked as we'll v