I actually think she is misdiagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder

[PhoenixFromTheFlames]

Hey BPD family -

Just was thinking yesterday about my past relationship and how ADD came up ... .my ex was then "kind of" diagnosed with ADD and depression and her Psych put her on anti-depressants.  I was wondering if anyone had ADD play a role?  I actually think she is misdiagnosed and the Psych basically just writes her scrips - she will not pay or can't afford the therapy... .but my thought is she really id BPD and the impulsivity, disassociation, etc... .she believes is ADD and she now has confirmation from a psych -- too bad as she will never then be diagnosed and truly get help.

I did give her book on BPD one of the last imps I saw her ... .told her I thought she was a great person that needs help to deal with her trauma, etc... .in order to stop her negative behavior.  I'll bet that book went promptly into the trash. The thing is she knows she has problems... .Any thoughts?

[OutOfEgypt]

My ex had ADD-like symptoms, too.  To me, it makes sense.  Lots of anxiety, problems focusing, always on the run and in self-protect mode within, feeling like you are crawling/uncomfortable in your own skin... .who wouldn't look like they had ADD and depression who felt like that?  

I don't even bother suggesting to my ex that she has any kind of disorder.  At the end of the last recycle I just told her "We are just two people who weren't right for each other (basically, how she has wanted to see it for years)".  So yeah, I basically lied in order to defuse tension and reduce conflict -so that I could get out of the relationship quicker and safer.  Maybe in 10 years when there's nothing but relational carnage around her, she'll come to me and ask whats wrong with her.  But I won't hold my breath.  There will always be another replacement so that she can keep running and never have to look in the mirror.

She's also very big into self-help.  Ironic no?  She read a book about "invalidators" so that she could equip herself to recognize invalidators (people who invalidate her feelings).  Sad, because she is the biggest invalidator I have ever met!  But she'll never see it.  She keeps focusing on how everybody else hurts her and how she can cut away their dead weight and keep improving herself.  One day I bet she hopes she'll be half as awesome as she desperately tries to convince herself and others she is.