Hi everyone
I found this on intensity versus intimacy on a thread recommended by 2010. I found it helpful. Hope you do too.
"A trauma bond is where an intense, traumatic experience or betrayal of trust takes place, forming an equally intense relationship/bond.
Some signs of a trauma bond:
.When you obsess about people who have hurt you though they are long gone from your life (To obsess means to be preoccupied, fantasize about, and wonder about something/someone even though you do not want to.)
.When you continue to seek contact with people whom you know will cause you further pain.
.When you go "overboard" to help people who have been destructive to you.
.When you continue to be a "team" member when obviously things are becoming destructive.
.When you continue attempts to get people who are clearly using you to like you.
.When you again and again trust people who have proved to be unreliable.
.When you are unable to distance yourself from unhealthy relationships.
.When you want to be understood by those who clearly do not care.
.When you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away.
.When you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen.
.When you are loyal to people who have betrayed you.
.When you are attached to untrustworthy people.
.When you keep damaging secrets about exploitation or abuse.
.When you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsibility.
"The brain pathways actually change due to the intermittent re-inforcement of good times mixed in with periods of trauma. It's the hardest type of behaviour for the brain to stop, hence the " trauma repetition behavior.
It's one reason why a "no contact" period is so helpful, it allows the brain to heal - and then our hearts." Skip
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=77344.0