I share this here because anyone else I would share this with would think I am crazy – last weekend DD11 and I worked in the back yard and replaced some container plants that had died during the winter (I know it’s late in the season, but I finally got tired of waiting on uBPDh to get motivated and really tired of the backyard looking like death valley
!) We do have lots of deer in our area, but I put in the same plants we had before and they are deer resistant (not deer-proof – those little boogers will try most anything!).
H and I have a business together and we have had a difficult week w work and uBPDh being very stressed which ends up affecting every aspect of our lives (H is always “so stressed” so nothing new). Yesterday an issue came up w work and H was very angry w me – I didn’t handle something the way he told me to but the way I handled it (which is the way I handle this issue based on outside expert advice – this issue comes up frequently) it was resolved positively and the way we needed it to be resolved for our business. I knew that H had been building stress and needed to emotionally vomit, so just accepted that he was going to be angry but moved forward as peacefully as possible to accomplish what needed to be accomplished!
I was not home most of the evening yesterday and it was dark when I got home and this morning H asks if I have watered the plants outside. I told him “no, the soil in the containers was very wet when we put them in on Sunday so I haven’t watered but I am going to have DD11 water this morning.” I had noticed looking out the back door this morning when I let the dogs out that the plants I could see were looking a little droopy, but wasn’t worried about it so went off to work - then DS21 called me at work about 30 minutes later and told me the deer had uprooted most of the plants in the containers – not eaten – just uprooted (which has happened in the past).
And instead of cursing those darn deer, I immediately wondered if H, in a fit of anger/rage/whatever, uprooted the plants yesterday evening while I was gone.
It could have easily been the deer overnight which I think would be the “go to” thought for most people. I am just so saddened that my first thought was to wonder if it was uBPDh. There have just been so many things that have “innocently” happened that I have become sort of jaded.
Really don’t need an answer – just needed to share w others who will understand where my “sort of dysfunctional” thinking comes from…
