BPD Distortion Campaign

[Leelou]

I just think i will document everything and keep calm.

That sounds like a good plan. It's good that you are learning to detach and realize it's not really about you personally--it's their distorted thinking.

PF Change, yes, yup.  Thank you for your brief words.  It still makes me feel sick when you are dragged back in.  I still feel lost in my heart, but my head knows what to do.  And this is after 3 years of NC!  I think the wounds never heal, but we know there is no point.  I just always hope.  I hope for healing 

[Leelou]

Some years ago I created a business to boost my husband's ego.  I saw greatness in him.  He thrived, we ran the business together.  Well…reality check moment-"I" ran the business and his world at home and everywhere in between, and made it so that HE could function as the head of the business.  I had no idea of his BPD back then.  He "seemed" appreciative, he "seemed" to love the "partnership".  Boy did that shift drastically.  It was maddening, I couldn't understand why he couldn't function like a normal human being/grown up.  Fast forward through the years and due to the unique nature of that business, he has amassed a following on social media that makes him feel like a rock star.  His use/abuse of social media has morphed into a place where he:  rants, rages, gathers sympathy…and DISTORTS.  He is a complete fraud and no one knows but me.  WOW how horrifying.  He actually used his public, business page to announce our divorce.  For a while I stayed active on social media to try to stay active and "try" to stay abreast of the distortion.  I soon realized trying to fight the distortion campaign is completely out of my control.  I would never be able to compete with the private and text messages and his meeting with people to share "his" version of a story that simply isn't true.  My dearest friends and family and the people who matter, know exactly who I am and what the truth is.  If they are unsure of the truth they are comfortable enough to ask me personally.  The rest mean nothing to me.  I (albeit temporarily) have removed myself from social media to give myself peace and time to heal without feeling the pull of insanity to stay connected to his irrational behaviors.  Time and karma will expose the truth.  My ex husband is double-disordered:  drug addict + BPD.  I have no control over any of it and I can only take care of myself.  Giving up trying to control what is entirely out of your control is one of the hardest lessons to learn.

to r

And it continues... .now I have the father of my BPD sister's daughter texting me lots of abuse! (They broke up badly years ago, now it seems they are brothers in arms in this campaign)  Think they all have issues.  Bit of a shock, but I was waiting for something. The angle of the abuse was "I thought you were the sane one"... .can't believe you have been fake all these years... .I am going to court so you can never see the child again.  You are messing with her head (because I am trying NC with them all). 

I don't want to see the child or hear from you again!

They don't seem to understand I have a completely different life to them.  I don't see them, I don't live near them, I don't have drama I am not part of the "cast".  The distortion campaign continues and obviously going NC has meant I am next in line for the vilification campaign.  Crazy making.  I just think i will document everything and keep calm.

But very personally abusive texts, designed to make me make contact, so they can have a go at me.  Luckily all of my social group know about this, so I don't need worry about damage limitation.  I can imagine how someone who is in the close proximity to this would be so worried about what others would think.  I take comfort in small things.  But would secretly love to batter their heads together with a Indian truth stick or maybe inject them with a truth serum, with men in white lab coats getting them to admit/see the truth.  Ah that's just in the movies, makes me feel better though... .got to laugh or you'd end up at nutty as them.  Felt a bit shaky when the texts came through, but now have put it in perspective by typing here, I don't mean to make light of it, but there comes a point where you realise this sounds like a plot from a film.  Unbelievable, physically my neck is tense.  Stopping the mind from wondering reading a book, but jeez! The infected sickness keeps on going

Hope, keep strong.  Good grief  keep on going, keep it together.  Must be awful for you.  I doubt my integrity at times, but what can you do?  The first, second, third attack on your character, is hard.  The attacks when they stop is even harder because you think what is next?  Then another shot comes from left field?  Then you are dragged back into it.  Am having a good day, great success at work. I am Managing to keep it together, no one has any idea about this, just vent on this forum! Listening to old fleetwood mac songs and looking at the stars with eyes full of tears - they will not be there tomorrow

[Leelou]

Hi all!  Just remembered something else uBPDsis did last year.  When all the nastiness was at its height, in one of her letters to me she mentioned she had contacted CRUSE (a bereavement counselling service in the UK) and they had suggested that we go to a session together.  The implication was very clear - that she had gone and explained how awful I had been, and they had told her that grief sometimes causes people to act irrationally (we had recently lost our mother), and so she was trying to support me!  I think she must have been desperate for a new audience at that time, so the CRUSE service was the latest target.  Later on, long after I had said I would agree to selling my mother's properties (previously I had suggested something different but she insisted on selling everything purely to spite me, as she will be worse off as a result, made no sense, long story), I was pushing for us to have a meeting with our probate solicitor to confirm who did what.  There was no way I would meet her without a witness as it would have been all accusations and lies, and total denial of anything we agreed.  She then wrote and said she would be happy to go to mediation!  I wrote back to say I had no idea what there was to mediate on as I had agreed to her wish that we sell everything 5 months before!  I think she was desperate to get me in front of someone who she would see as on her side, so she could continue accusing me of all these dreadful things.  But there's no way I would give her the satisfaction.  Their thinking patterns are truly bizarre.  JB

I don't know how you managed the funeral! I don't like writing I, but this is a personal perspective, "I" can only imagine what that must have been like, after all you don't have feelings (sarcasm drips) you must be one strong woman!  Must have been hard, JB.   

I dread that time and can imagine the drama that would happen.  Never mind going through probate - I keep on telling mom and dad to make a will cos I know I will have the same issue.   

Funny how she picked cruise, with my sister I dream about jerry springer or Jeremy Kyle as a showdown location, but same thing.  Some person who they think "are on their side" and you have to justify yourself to.

Now this has escalated to a judge, far, far, more than I imagined, but we still have the same scenario - where they want to push their truth, but in the end it is futile as what do "I" achieve? Answer nothing.  What does my sister achieve.  Nothing.  So what is the point? = futility

But boy do I want to knock their heads together!  And get a stormy big sister type reaction on.  But we are NC, it is tough not reacting, but that is what we must do.

Am out of the FOG but it still clouds my glasses sometimes, keep strong and thanks for your support