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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Why is resisting contact so hard?
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Topic: Why is resisting contact so hard? (Read 630 times)
willy45
Formerly "johnnyorganic", "rjh45", "SurferDude"
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 762
Re: Why is resisting contact so hard?
«
Reply #30 on:
July 31, 2014, 10:22:35 PM »
I obviously have the same problem. I set a boundary and she busts right through. She keeps hammering away, over and over. And I collapse. Why?
Now I've really realized that this person is sick. Why do I 'love' her. I don't get it. She's very psychologically ill. And she will destroy me. She doesn't care about me. She doesn't care about herself. She told me she knows I don't want the contact and that the rejection of my reestablishing the NC boundary is terrible for her, yet she keeps contacting. She told me she is impulsive and won't ever stop. She literally can't.
I am seeking that high. I am seeking the validation.
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amigo
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 154
Re: Why is resisting contact so hard?
«
Reply #31 on:
July 31, 2014, 10:40:36 PM »
Hello, my name is amigo, and I am a BPD addict too.
And it happened from just trying it once... .
Yes, the addiction, the triggering when we see, hear, remember anything related to the "drug", it's all so very true. So incredibly hard to give up.
I don't think I will ever get validation. But I do still crave that hit.
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SeekerofTruth
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 235
Re: Why is resisting contact so hard?
«
Reply #32 on:
August 01, 2014, 12:29:01 AM »
Quote from: BacknthSaddle on July 29, 2014, 11:55:05 AM
By challenging our fears we can begin to control the anxiety into what is actually real versus what we perceive to be real.
Regarding your anger - anger is a natural emotion in grief... .whether she contacted you or stopped contacting you - anger is going to occur. Anger is also a mask for hurt - leaning into this a bit more now - is her contacting you hurting you because it really reinforces that to take care of you, you must continue to let her go - and frankly that hurts?
BINGO for me! Hell ya! Although I never thought of it that way before... .eeek. TY S.B.
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