Wow. That's tough. My guess is, if you're like me, you're in protection mode. I think as the knight in shining armor I once was, I guess I feel it's my job to save her. What really needs to happen, is we need to step aside and let them have the dignity and grace to make their mistakes. We have to let people be accountable for their own actions. I'm more worried about you and why you are still hooked into her every move. I'm more worried about my actions and why I am hooked into my BPD's every action and move, and we've had NC for more than a month now. It's over. She's moved on to the next savior /victim(s). Yet these waifs have us worried, don't they? I believe we see it as our job to make sure they don't get hurt, because they always do and they will. But I have to keep telling myself that's not my job! What she does now is really none of my business. Let her have her fun. Let him have his fun. I promise it will all come crashing down. Not that we really want to see people get hurt, but what we really need to figure out is how and when are WE going to start having our own fun?
Thank you, you're very right but my mind and heart are going in different directions.
She is the mother of my son so I feel I need to save her, I feel its my duty. I've tried waning her about him but she wont listen.
He wont commit to her, she know that but she's fighting. She say she doesn't care if he commits because they're just having fun. I know her and she is being her perfect self to hook him in, I know it wont work.
I think the fact she had him lined up and then came back to me hurts me. She met him then came back to me! The day after.
I know I need to let her make her own mistakes but it really is paining me inside. I don't want her to move on. My father is a narcissist and I'm addicted to her due to my childhood wounds.
Do you think this psychiatrist will spot the BPD before long?
