Hi, guliers,
It sounds like you are having a tough time. Losing a loved one such as a grandparent can feel traumatic, and having a parent with a personality disorder probably didn't help with the grieving process. Have you considered talking with a therapist to get to the root of what's going on and explore possible solutions?
Wishing you peace,
PF
yeah i've been seeing a really good therapist. i just have to wait until monday to make an appointment