I feel hopeless about my relationship with my brother.

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I understand! My suggestion would mean giving up your self for her. And that is definitely not worth it.

[Angi]

I understand! My suggestion would mean giving up your self for her. And that is definitely not worth it.

[Louise7777]

YouCantFoolMe, your last post was an eye-opener for me. I have a cousin (older than me) thats exactly like that. We met on occasion, but there was never a conversation. Only a few years back I realized what was happening: the condescending tone, the "me me me" monologues, etc. I always took that as normal (stupid me) but at the same time something bothered me... .

You are right about the ey contact, I hadnt thought of that until now (we are NC). But she seemed a child, couldnt stop moving, as if she needed attention with her words and when it didnt work, she had to walk and position herself in the middle of the room. Very disturbing to me. You are right on the "speaking at you" also. The few times we talked (she monologued about her) there was little room for an answer, just for me nodding.

I dont know abt your sister in law, but my cousin has this "mask": a strange "frozen" smile ... .She has it in all the pics, I find it very weird. I look at her and I see nothing there... .

I understand your sister in law staying away from you and being angry, same happened to me: once they realize you know whats going on, they get furious and have to bring you down. Im VLC/ NC and my only advice is for you to keep the same.

[Youcantfoolme]

I dont know abt your sister in law, but my cousin has this "mask": a strange "frozen" smile ... .She has it in all the pics, I find it very weird. I look at her and I see nothing there... .

Wow I have to say, this creeped me out a bit because I see the very same exact thing you're describing here! She has this devious, sort of devilish smile in pictures. It's the same smile in every picture and this look on her face like, she knows exactly what she's doing. Her eyes too. I can't explain it. When I look at those pics it looks as if she has no soul. There's just this blank, foreign look in them. It's hard to explain. I've seen this look on others eyes but only while they were under the influence of drugs or terminally ill. I know that sounds crazy.

[Louise7777]

Im glad Im not alone in this, YouCantFoolMe! It gives me some confort to get validation (I rarely get it at home... .LOL). 

I wouldnt say "devilish look" (unless they are enraged), but Id call it a mask. Its just a façade they put up. I assume its their N traits, they dont have much of an "inner life", so they have to create something for "public consumption". My uBPDs can NEVER EVER be alone, they need constant attention and care. I see that as part of the lack of inner life... .That explains the mirroying many people see in romantic r/s with them.

I also noticed that blank expression and she got enraged when she caught me staring at her (I realized something was off). I read they are very perceptive to other´s facial expressions and God only knows what I looked like... ..

At some point (when I was still in contact) I kept looking at her while she was raging at others and then she looked at me and got angry... .I guess she realized I know whats behind the mask... .

[Youcantfoolme]

Im glad Im not alone in this, YouCantFoolMe! It gives me some confort to get validation (I rarely get it at home... .LOL). 

I wouldnt say "devilish look" (unless they are enraged), but Id call it a mask. Its just a façade they put up. I assume its their N traits, they dont have much of an "inner life", so they have to create something for "public consumption". My uBPDs can NEVER EVER be alone, they need constant attention and care. I see that as part of the lack of inner life... .That explains the mirroying many people see in romantic r/s with them.

I also noticed that blank expression and she got enraged when she caught me staring at her (I realized something was off). I read they are very perceptive to other´s facial expressions and God only knows what I looked like... ..

At some point (when I was still in contact) I kept looking at her while she was raging at others and then she looked at me and got angry... .I guess she realized I know whats behind the mask... .

The last paragraph describes my situation to the tee!